Some things never change

R.Gunz: I thought we'd try something a little different today. Gina and I decided to collaborate on a post. Maybe it would get her involved... since she never posts anyway.

G.Gunz: Hey, why would you say that? But I'm misses--- argh.... *sigh* *laugh* *silent whimper* *gasp* STOP IT!!! *laugh* Why would you do that? No one's gonna want to read that.

(silence)

R.Gunz: Back to the subject. More importantly, I feel like slinging a little mud. Since "Two Guys From Italy" opened in Apple Valley, the Mrs. and I have gone 3 times. Each time we've gone, the restaurant, while physically the same, has been vastly different. One thing hasn't changed. The food. It still sucks. Well, that was kind of mean, and unnecessary. It's actually not terrible, but if you get a bowl of just pasta, I could quote the Mrs. on saying that "It tastes like school lunch." The portions aren't a bad size, but the food is simply too expensive for what you get. I'm not a foodie, but I know that if something is too salty for me, that's really fuckin' salty.

G.Gunz: I think the ownership has changed a couple of times, and there was a span of a month where the restaurant was closed entirely. Originally, if you wanted to dine in, you would go up to the counter and order. I think they're trying to make it posher, because they now seat you and take your order like a real restaurant. Unfortunately, their waiters have received little to no training.

R.Gunz: You have a penchant for understatement. Our waiter today... Todd? Mike?? Dumbass? Might have gotten training on how not to be a good waiter... maybe on how to be a prison guard. The place wasn't busy, but that gives no excuse to "hovering" over us. It took twenty minutes to get the food, which at Applebees or the Olive Garden might have been acceptable, but considering the "buffet-style" kitchen, you'd have expected a faster turn around. Also, Shit-bird wasn't familiar with Pinot Noir. Nor did he ask for ID, until I reminded him. Not that it matters to me, but if you serve alcohol, I'd expect you'd rather not get busted for serving a minor. I hear it's expensive.

G.Gunz: I'm really not that picky. I'm a lot more understanding of poor service than Ron is. But when he arrived with my Pinot Noir, I was surprised! The glass he brought it in looked like a tiny dessert wine glass, and it was filled to the top (he also spilled a little, and tried to use a napkin to clean it up, but the outside of the glass was still sticky). And not that I'm a wine snob, but I believe red wine is supposed to be in a larger wine glass, so it has some room to breathe.

R.Gunz: You also would think that 6.50 buys you a little more than 4 ounces of wine, but I guess I'm not on the same level as these people. I gotta imagine that the place is a tax hole. There can't be much money to be made with the service and the food. I had the Chicken Saltimboca, which alone, isn't too bad. The marsala probably needed a bit more simmer to take the edge off of the cheap wine they used, but the chicken had good flavor, and the prosciutto was cooked well. The penne was insulting, though. I think there were 14 or 15 penne noodles, topped with this... catsup... or something. After all that, the meal was doused in salt. The portion wasn't too small, which is good for them, but it did leave you with a feeling of "That's it? I guess I could have eaten a little more." I'll take the positive side of that argument and say it prevented you from over-eating, but was probably designed to make you want dessert. In the middle of the entree, Big bird showed up and said "Is everyhing tasting good?" We said, "Yes, thank you." He took two steps away, turned around and came back. "Can I get you anything else?"

G.Gunz: No, we just wanted him to go away. And by the time he came back to ask about dessert, we were not interested. We wanted to go home. When I paid up front, I gave him my credit card. For some reason, there was no space for a tip on the receipt. I wasn't sure what to do, so I didn't leave a tip.

R.Gunz: Not that it matters, we aren't going back. I get better service by the 16 year old at KFC.