I've Been Out-Nerded

I don't know how it happened... and I don't know why it happened...  

Of course, maybe I don't understand, I'm not a comic book guy.

But for some reason, someone thought this was a good idea:

 

it's not even a joke, it exists. . . saw it with my own eyes.  I won't even give you the pleasure of reading my nerdy dissertation about what exactly is wrong with this match up.

I keep rejecting book ideas for myself, but this asshole has given me a new inspiration.  Coming soon:  Jack Bauer takes on Aliens Vs Predator and Robocop Vs The Terminator.  

I had to cut Chuck Norris out because he's proven himself to be an idiot.

If you're feeling romantic

You should listen to Cracked's catalogue of Valentine's Day songs.

Happy Fake Holiday!

The restaurant, chocolate, jewelry, floral and greeting card industries say "hi" and that they're "sorry about the ulcers from all this production, but would you really rather try to display your affections more than a paltry 4 days a year?"

Dear Association

It has gotten to the point where you need to start giving me reasons to pay.  I signed up to have my life dictated by you people to tell me when I can and can't water my grass, or where I can park because the benefits outweighed the penalties.  It has gotten to the point where you refuse to do anything about the light outside and you refuse to clear snow from my drive way.

I will start a revolution.  Believe me, I'm that kind of pain in the ass.