Every Yard is a War

Anyone who knows me from a peripheral standpoint would say that I'm cheap.

I'll fight anyone over 75 cents if it means I win a battle. That's not to say that I'm cheap, though, it's a misconception. People who know me better know that I just really like fighting with people. And in that same manner, if I am undercharged, I will make a point to bring it to their attention.

However, today, I won my war. They let me trade the gun in.



I got a 'nicer' piece. It's slightly larger, with a tactical rail and night sights. Chambered in a 9mm, it's sure to save me money in the long run over ammo. Not that I've ever been a huge fan of the 9mm Parabellum. But it's not like I'm actually going to shoot anyone.

Really.

I promise.

Most Dangerous Game

Shooting is one of those cataclysmically testosterone laden "sports" that it is considered wholly unmanly to say you don't like. Or that after trying, you simply with not to participate further in.

This in mind, I absolutely love it. It's quite a rush when a small explosion leaves the cradled steel centered in the palm of your hand and decimates the piece of paper at the end of the line. The .40 Caliber Smith and Wesson round was a joy to fire, but the .357 sig round was the real winner in my hand.

There is a small problem, however. The used firearm that I purchased from Gander Mountain is malfunctioning, making it wholly unsafe for a target shooting pistol, much less a carry weapon. In 200 rounds, the weapon mis-fired more than 20 times. It is also not sighted correctly, or the barrel sits down and right. Markings on the barrel indicate that this might be more than a problem.

Yes, I did clean and lubricate it prior to shooting.

I can only hope that Gander will take this pistol as a return credit towards the purchase of another weapon. I wholly enjoyed shooting (as I once did), and hope to clear away the bad habits that 5 years away from a range has seen me develop. I'm back to flinching again, which another trip to the range should alleviate. My muzzle control requires a bit of work, since I'm over compensating due to the action of the pistol. The slide forces the pistol up, the explosion back, where a rifle is mostly just back.

A couple of good things remained: My grouping at 25 yards is tight enough that the rounds enter on top of other hits, at 40 yards, this extends out to 4 inches or so, but I, after learning where the weapon should be pointed in relation to the sight, was able to consistently hit the bulls-eye (I mean the X, not the circle).

Overall, I really enjoy the Sig P229, but am sad to say that it has to go. It's a fantastic carry weapon, but given my situation, I doubt I'll be able to buy a Sig used again.

Forgotten Promises

After years of promising myself that I'd buy a handgun, the time has finally arrived. I'm only 3 years later than I had originally intended, and believe me, that is a record of sorts. I'm usually much slower.

I purchased mine, used, at Gander Mountain. Believe me, if there are two characters who look out of place at Gander Mountain, it's me and Bambi.

None the less, the experience was pleasant, and the two gentlemen who helped me Chuck and Tom were very polite and helpful.

My purchase was preowned, but I saved an immense amount of money over new and the gun (it hurts me to use that word, considering how many push ups I've had looked like it was in great shape. Overall, I'm fairly happy with it.

My concern, through my limited firearms experience, is that the weapon was not properly cleaned and lubricated before sale. I'm not sure exactly what their policy on this is, as they did give me a voucher for a free cleaning and inspection, thought you'd assume they'd clean and inspect a weapon they purchased to resell yes?

Anyway, I'm headed to the range on Saturday. My brother and his friend in tow. We'll put a few down. I'll try to remember my camera.

You Dirty Son of A Bitch

There has been a lot of debate as to whether or not Sony should be replacing a certain someone's Playstation 3 under warranty for free or for $150.

At first, on this debate, I sided with the crowd who said "Yes, they should fix it for free, it's their shit." That is, I was, until I saw pictures.






At The Consumerist, where I got these pictures, there is a debate and a poll about this same subject. The poll stands at about 55/45 in favor of Sony replacing this disgusting monolith for free. My personal belief is that this person's neglect of general maintenance has contributed to the failure of the unit. It doesn't take much to wipe off your Playstation 3, much less occasionally blow out dust, as I do with all 3 of my consoles, my surround sound system and my television.

The general rule of thumb, or rule of wrist in this situation, is that taking care of your shit makes it last longer. That's why, after a year and a half of service, my delightful MacBook and my wife's 2 year old Sony laptop are both in relatively good condition (I have stress cracks on the corner of my notebook, due to a poor choice in plastics, my wife's computer is mint) and my brother's Dell is duct taped at the hinges and around the monitor. At around the same age.

He believes that he will wring out another 6 months.

I just disassembled it to remove a screw mount that was rolling around and causing leads to short and smoke.

Fox News stuck their big nose into the Playstation 3 fuckup's situation, too. I don't know if you'd heard about it.

They used an actor to portray the guy.

Why? Probably because this guy knows he'd never get another date once someone figured out how abso-fuckin'-lutely filthy he is.

Update: I don't actually believe that the kid on fox news is the kid with the nasty ps3. In the off-chance that I'm wrong, I hope this shit kills his career.

An Oddity of Sorts

My brother has always had an interest in firearms. Actually, interest would be blunting the Katana.

My brother is obsessed with guns.

I've always had more than a passing interest myself, as the amount of engineering that goes in to each and every one of those things is incredible. That and they are really fun to shoot at a range.

My personal experience with firearms are limited to the M16A2 (bang bang), the M249 SAW (tukka tukka tukka), the M92f (Beretta) 9mm (Pop pop), and the M82 Barrett 50 Cal (BOOM!).

It was enjoyable, but grim experience when the only thing your told is that you're going to have to do this to a person someday.

It's an entirely different feeling to think that you can purchase one and do it to a piece of steel or paper instead, and no one is firing back at you. Or over you.

I have an irrational fear that my permit to purchase will be denied by the fair city of Apple Valley. I've never been arrested for anything. And still I worry.

Here's the one I picked out:


Only problem is... after that one... there are 10 more.

The Fine Print

Today, thanks to the pursuit of a dollar, everything has guarantees and fine print attached to it.

Everything is Free* (*after mail-in rebate, which you will never see).

Or Risk Free* (* if not satisfied with the product, contact our customer service and they'll call you a liar, you'll pay $5 dollar processing fee and not get a return on shipping and handling).

Or Guaranteed!* (Under ridiculous terms we specify that cannot possibly be met or proven so we can provide a more marketable claim).

Example:
Jeremy is Guaranteed!* to pee in your overnight bag. (*You will have to clean it up)


Case and point:
I am in the market for a fire-proof (or as reasonably as possible) safe. Sentry makes a "Fire-Safe", which one would assume means, as it is heavy and unwieldy, means that it can withstand being left in your house during the event of... say... a fire. One expects that the outside of the safe would undoubtably be damaged, as it does have a keypad for electronic entry.

One does not expect, however, that the safe is only guaranteed for 1 hour of fire conditions.

What the fuck does that mean?

Does that mean from the moment my house starts on fire? Or from the moment the safe is engulfed in flames? Isn't the point of buying the fire-safe to keep your belongings (notably, paperwork indicating the ownership of the house) safe from a... ahem... fire? Since it is 100 pounds, does that mean I have to try to bring it with me while I'm half asleep and escaping from the inferno?

Should I go back for it?

Am I supposed to document the fire? How long it takes from the initial spark to my house being cinders on the ground? Does that mean I'm supposed to record this? What the fuck? I need to find my video camera now?

The point is, "fire-safe" is misleading. Safe with 1 hour of fire resistance is much more accurate, yet, less marketable. But the terms of the fire resistance are not outlined on the box.

If I find the asshole that puts that shit together, I'm going to give him a guaranteed* kick in the balls.

(*I'll do it)

Reversed Consumerism

One of the interesting ideals behind our society is that everyone will get paid incredible amounts of money for everything they do, and never have to pay for what they want later.

I think of the music industry as a wild representation of this ideal. And the reality of it, as well.

Music is saturated with idiots who produce a generic product in the pursuit of your dollar, and because the industry that supports this model believes that the only way to maintain profitability is to find a bunch of acts that all look and sound like each other, or in Nickleback's case, like themselves, we're stuck with this as a mainstream product.

Several attempts have been made at producing a more marketable way of taking independent artists and bringing them to the public, but nothing works without some sort of airplay or exposure.

That, and everyone wants good, free music.

The problem with the statement above is interesting. The thing is, I like paying for music. I like knowing that an artist who produces quality material is getting paid because I enjoyed his product and I purchased it. The problem is that good albums are really few and far between. Thank Steve Jobs for iTunes. Not that everyone uses it.

But the idea is just the same.

Today, hip hop is infused with the idea that money can be made quickly if you follow the instructions.

First, you write and record and album. Then, you ditch 3 tracks off that album and you replace them with 3 standard tracks: The Guest Producer song (where Timbaland or Just Blaze create a great sounding and original beat with a hook that disguises your substandard rap ability), the Slow Jam (optional, but the ladies love a slow jam), and finally, the collaboration track. You start the track, but everyone in the middle make the song (right now, it'd be Akon, Kanye, T-Pain, Ne-Yo, Jay-Z, Chris Brown and/or Trey Songs).

This guarantees the album will sell 200,000 copies, even if you spend the last 45 minutes of the album humming.

And since hip hop is the antithesis of rock, the formula there is significantly different. You write an album, everything must sound the same, and be catchy. Then you release your first album and the single in the same 8 weeks, then you release another single at the end of 3 months from the release of your single. Then that's it. Wait for your sales, or not. It's much more hit and miss, which is why you get so many more hip hop artists on the top 40 than rock.

And yet, knowing all this, I paid 5 dollars for an album without listening to it. Without a middle man. No brick and mortar store. No ad campaign. Just hype. I heard it from someone. And Trent Reznor was involved.

If you haven't purchased the album, you can download it for free, but I think you'll agree that it's worth the $5, at least to support the idea that suing your customers isn't the best way to make money.

The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust

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