It has been a while, hasn't it? Now that politics has appeared to step aside and there is no longer any debate to how this country is going to be run (my cold, dead hands by the way), I feel less pressured to write something starkly political (you could see my last few posts were headed that way). How've you been? It's good to be back.
One of the things I've prided myself on is my ability to adapt. It wasn't many years ago that in family conversations my father's favorite thing to point out was my uneven balance between book smarts and street smarts, and my brother would be my opposite. I was a book kid. That's the way it is. Since then, I've found a considerably more even balance between the two, often preferring to learn the lesson that life teaches you instead of the one that book offers.
I feel that learning something everyday is what keep your life from seeming too short. That if everyday you learn something, maybe it won't feel like your life is passing without some milestone to mark where you've been. Weekends are often devoid of these little markers.
Today, I learned a lesson I wouldn't soon forget.
The girl who cut my hair today, her name is Molly, but for the sake of anonymity, let's call her "Polly".
Polly seems a nice girl, simply too shy (maybe too green) to have been in the hair styling industry for very long. Mol-er-Polly wouldn't even call my name to let me know I was next. She would just timidly glance over until I got the hint (thank god I'm not dating her, it wouldn't have ended well). As I sat down in the chair, I started to piece things together.
Generally speaking, I'm sensitive about my hair. My wife would tell you that I'm too sensitive about it, but it's my hair goddammit. Polly slowly got her life together enough to put the reverse cape over me and began to ask me what I was looking for. I tell her the same thing I would tell every other stylist who has cut my hair.
"I like it really short on the sides and back, like a number 1. I don't like a long fade, higher up and tighter, so I don't look like a walking black mushroom. I like the top a little longer, not quite this long."
"Oh, I think I know what you mean."
Time out. Like those 3 episodes where Zach Morris in Saved By the Bell had randomly earned the ability to freeze time. Time the fuck out. It's at this moment that I should have protested and demanded that another woman be given to me for my hair styling satisfaction, but I thought that perhaps I was being sensitive. People work in a different manner, and maybe she doesn't exude confidence in the way I would want my ideal stylist to comfort me, but that's no reason to condemn her as a clipper carrying invalid.
She immediately takes out an under-charged electric razor and begins going to work with a clipper much too long for this particular request. Again, I can't criticize. I don't know how to cut hair, and I can't say I've gone to school for it. I would not tell a construction worker how to operate a crane. I would not tell Picasso how best to lop his ear off, unless he asked my opinion.
The electric razor's motor struggled against gravity as the battery's charge quickly dwindled it's the last of it's ability to masticate my hair. On one occasion, the razor actually stopped on a pass through my "thick salad". Unfazed by this, or perhaps concentrating on the most efficient means of ruining my day, Polly simply strangled the razor until it agreed to comply for the duration of its torture.
Suddenly, she was done. Except that the hair on the sides of my head were still 2 inches too long from what I had described. Again, I held my peace, comforting myself with thoughts of deserted islands where perhaps I would not be judged by my hair cut due to a lack of peers. "She's probably just going to do this in layers, I thought, to make sure the my head doesn't end up misshapen."
She armed herself with shears. I assumed at this point she was leaving the razor to charge somewhere. I was also dead wrong with this assumption. She grabbed a bale of my hair and measured. Before I knew it, she had cut a spot in the middle of my head down to about an inch long. I accepted this consequence as a mis-communication. Perhaps I had been unclear about what I had meant about "a little longer on the top", where I assumed that she read "I like it around 2 or 3 inches up there" like every other stylist I've encountered in my life, perhaps she understood "a little longer than what should be on the sides".
Except that it wasn't at this point.
After about 5 minutes of unsteady cutting, I looked like Larry from the Three Stooges, except that I still had hair on top, magnifying the brilliance of this escapade. I closed my eyes, and pretended to sleep, in the hopes that she would go away and select another more interesting prey. Suddenly, my hair is being washed, and we're back in the chair.
"You have this swirly deal at the front of your hair. My fiance has it, too. He just kind of let's it do what it does."
My eyes slowly scanned the swirly at the front of my head. And then allowed focus out. And in horror I realized that she had given me a "Faux-hawk" because that's what "her fiance does with his hair." I looked directly in to Polly's eyes and forgave her for this transgression. "I'm not the type of person who wears a faux-hawk. I'll bet I've got 80 pounds on your fiance, and a face to match. Can you cut the sides shorter and tighten the fade? Also, can we even it out on top?"
By this time, her opulant mood has dropped. She really had thought that she'd discovered this new place for me to be. This perfect world where everyone is like her fiancee. Or maybe it was the only haircut she could do. Regardless, I spent the next 20 minutes coaching her out of her faux-hawk and chiseling a permanent scowl on my face to last the rest of the day. After I'd done the best I could with the tools I was given, I paid and left. Vowing to ask if she still worked there the next time I was in for a hair cut, and running the opposite direction if she was.
Two lessons that I learned today, actually.
1) No woman ever touches you like your hairstylist: Her palm flat on your head, your elbow firmly seated in her crotch.
And infinitely more importantly,
2) Never let a stylist cut your hair if she can compare your hair to her significant other's.
22 November 2008
31 August 2008
A Sense of Closure
One of my favorite things about all forms of media is the amount of attachment we're capable of making to them. Since the beginning of print, we have been connecting themselves with characters in books. Since the beginning of music, we have been losing themselves in the melodies. And since the advent of film, we have been experiencing the moments as our own.
Gaming itself seems to have followed that same course, with today's experiences now rivaling the experiences found at the cinema, except now more encompassing.
As a Star Trek fan, or a trekker if you need a name for it, the connection to the characters always goes beyond the standard two hours you might be allotted in a movie. If you assume that a season of episodes is 24 42-minute episodes long, and you count TNG, DS9 and Voyager's 7 season per series totals, that's roughly 353 hours of time spent "with" the universe.
Science fiction and fantasy are the most obvious forms of "escapism" in media, both of which seem to be predominant genres in gaming.
Since I was so close to finishing season 7 of DS9, it really got me thinking about the end of the Metal Gear Solid series. Each game of the series stands alone as what could arguably called the best game of its year, or even of its generation. However, when you put them all together, you might have a commentary. A story.
The story could be about the developer. It could be about the state of the industry. But I see it differently. It's about me. Or you. The gamer.
The first game was a revelation. A change in gaming, things that we'd never experience before in scope and story telling. The second, a disappointment to most, was something vastly new and different from the first, though the core of game play remained the same. The third changed the game a little bit, but it was a return the original character and the game took place in the past. The fourth concluded the series and left a question for me to answer: now that what I know and love is gone, isn't it time for me to step aside?
Gaming itself seems to have followed that same course, with today's experiences now rivaling the experiences found at the cinema, except now more encompassing.
As a Star Trek fan, or a trekker if you need a name for it, the connection to the characters always goes beyond the standard two hours you might be allotted in a movie. If you assume that a season of episodes is 24 42-minute episodes long, and you count TNG, DS9 and Voyager's 7 season per series totals, that's roughly 353 hours of time spent "with" the universe.
Science fiction and fantasy are the most obvious forms of "escapism" in media, both of which seem to be predominant genres in gaming.
Since I was so close to finishing season 7 of DS9, it really got me thinking about the end of the Metal Gear Solid series. Each game of the series stands alone as what could arguably called the best game of its year, or even of its generation. However, when you put them all together, you might have a commentary. A story.
The story could be about the developer. It could be about the state of the industry. But I see it differently. It's about me. Or you. The gamer.
The first game was a revelation. A change in gaming, things that we'd never experience before in scope and story telling. The second, a disappointment to most, was something vastly new and different from the first, though the core of game play remained the same. The third changed the game a little bit, but it was a return the original character and the game took place in the past. The fourth concluded the series and left a question for me to answer: now that what I know and love is gone, isn't it time for me to step aside?
27 August 2008
Life Explained
I think I was about 12 when I first asked myself the question "Am I really alive? Or am I dreaming that I'm alive?"
The question extends to a million other places, but the idea remains the same. What if reality isn't as it's explained to you? What if there are no other people, and you've just invented them all as it became convenient? What if the you you think you know is really just the you you want you to know?
The question is asked more elegantly in the movie "The Matrix" and had one of us decided to put pen to paper sooner, it would have made no difference at all. The question had been asked for ages, and touched on in just about all forms of media since the beginning of time. None of that matters, because it's such a fucking epiphany when you finally ask yourself. It's the definition of your existence at stake.
Do I exist?
It's a funny question, I think. In three words, you own the potential to completely negate any responsibility or consequence that your experiences have taught you. In three words, you have the potential to shed any frustration or misfortune in your existence.
Of course, the question was answered by a philosopher a few hundred years ago. Descartes wrote "Corgito, ergo sum", which if your Latin has fallen by the wayside, means simply "I think, therefore I am." Which, as Wikipedia is kind enough to regurgitate, was originally "Je pense donc je suis". That's french for the same, for the unintiated.
Yet, even if you go beyond him thousands of years, you'll find that Plato had explained conciousness in the simple "Knowledge of knowledge" idea, or you might find Aristotle's awareness text. That's fine, you can stay on that Wiki page.
Either way, the idea of explained existence has gone back much longer than your own suspected existence, and it's a fantastic reasoning (going back to "I think, therefore I am"), one I couldn't hope to disprove. Just the same, we'll turn the tables a second. What if you didn't exist?
What if everything you do is something I created? Or what if everything I do is something you've created? Or what if there is an omnipotent one among us who pulls all the strings either consciously or sub-consciously?
I suppose that could continue in any way. You could carry that line of questioning to the end of existence and never have any definite answer.
Which I suppose brings you to God.
To be completely honest with you, I never know where I sit on this subject. Some days, I just know, and in others I'm left in doubt. My favorite argument towards to existence of God is always simple. It's the Ockham's Razor of all explanations; "God did this." And yet, at the other end of the spectrum is Atheism. A clear case can be made here, too.
In that same, easy reasoning that God does exist, you have Chaos. The Big Bang theory. Evolution. Why do you exist? Because you do.
Anyone who tells you how improbable it is that you exist, that every facet of this life works within its tiny specification to make the world work the way it does, that every being has a blueprint and it can only be because God said it should be has no logical case.
You are here. The mosquitos are here. We have thunderstorms and the moon. Is it possible that we all exist because that's just the way it happened? If I had 2 eyes in the back of my head and a tail because that's the evolutionary course our species has taken would we be able to ask the same question. On the other end of Ockham's Razor is this, you exist because you do, not because a being decreed that you do.
The interesting thing about design is us. Humans. Regardless of how you view things, we are the key to this question. Are we the only species that debates the question of religion? Or existence? Maybe not.
But we seem to be the only species that has no place. We are unaccounted for. Without us, there is a cycle. Existence, then not. That's for every species, and not of equilibrium, because there is no permanent equilibrium, but a battle and an existence. Evolution, there it is again. But the difference between us and the other creatures is that we sacrifice to evolve. We destroy. And we question.
We live much longer than we once did, but is that not evolution? Even though the means are artificial, the idea that we are capable of building computers and machines or houses or roads or vehicles, is this not evolution? Applied Darwinism? A good portion of people would say that we've taken that out of the equation. That people now no longer succumb to allergies. That retardation or genetic disorder is no longer the determined end of the line. But what of reproduction?
It seems that we live in a world with two systems, science and religion. It seems that evolution and religion could co-exist. And yet, in most minds, they cannot. No one ever explains why, only that "God said it was" or "science demands it". Though there are few who could combine the ideals.
And then it might not matter at all.
Do I exist?
The question extends to a million other places, but the idea remains the same. What if reality isn't as it's explained to you? What if there are no other people, and you've just invented them all as it became convenient? What if the you you think you know is really just the you you want you to know?
The question is asked more elegantly in the movie "The Matrix" and had one of us decided to put pen to paper sooner, it would have made no difference at all. The question had been asked for ages, and touched on in just about all forms of media since the beginning of time. None of that matters, because it's such a fucking epiphany when you finally ask yourself. It's the definition of your existence at stake.
Do I exist?
It's a funny question, I think. In three words, you own the potential to completely negate any responsibility or consequence that your experiences have taught you. In three words, you have the potential to shed any frustration or misfortune in your existence.
Of course, the question was answered by a philosopher a few hundred years ago. Descartes wrote "Corgito, ergo sum", which if your Latin has fallen by the wayside, means simply "I think, therefore I am." Which, as Wikipedia is kind enough to regurgitate, was originally "Je pense donc je suis". That's french for the same, for the unintiated.
Yet, even if you go beyond him thousands of years, you'll find that Plato had explained conciousness in the simple "Knowledge of knowledge" idea, or you might find Aristotle's awareness text. That's fine, you can stay on that Wiki page.
Either way, the idea of explained existence has gone back much longer than your own suspected existence, and it's a fantastic reasoning (going back to "I think, therefore I am"), one I couldn't hope to disprove. Just the same, we'll turn the tables a second. What if you didn't exist?
What if everything you do is something I created? Or what if everything I do is something you've created? Or what if there is an omnipotent one among us who pulls all the strings either consciously or sub-consciously?
I suppose that could continue in any way. You could carry that line of questioning to the end of existence and never have any definite answer.
Which I suppose brings you to God.
To be completely honest with you, I never know where I sit on this subject. Some days, I just know, and in others I'm left in doubt. My favorite argument towards to existence of God is always simple. It's the Ockham's Razor of all explanations; "God did this." And yet, at the other end of the spectrum is Atheism. A clear case can be made here, too.
In that same, easy reasoning that God does exist, you have Chaos. The Big Bang theory. Evolution. Why do you exist? Because you do.
Anyone who tells you how improbable it is that you exist, that every facet of this life works within its tiny specification to make the world work the way it does, that every being has a blueprint and it can only be because God said it should be has no logical case.
You are here. The mosquitos are here. We have thunderstorms and the moon. Is it possible that we all exist because that's just the way it happened? If I had 2 eyes in the back of my head and a tail because that's the evolutionary course our species has taken would we be able to ask the same question. On the other end of Ockham's Razor is this, you exist because you do, not because a being decreed that you do.
The interesting thing about design is us. Humans. Regardless of how you view things, we are the key to this question. Are we the only species that debates the question of religion? Or existence? Maybe not.
But we seem to be the only species that has no place. We are unaccounted for. Without us, there is a cycle. Existence, then not. That's for every species, and not of equilibrium, because there is no permanent equilibrium, but a battle and an existence. Evolution, there it is again. But the difference between us and the other creatures is that we sacrifice to evolve. We destroy. And we question.
We live much longer than we once did, but is that not evolution? Even though the means are artificial, the idea that we are capable of building computers and machines or houses or roads or vehicles, is this not evolution? Applied Darwinism? A good portion of people would say that we've taken that out of the equation. That people now no longer succumb to allergies. That retardation or genetic disorder is no longer the determined end of the line. But what of reproduction?
It seems that we live in a world with two systems, science and religion. It seems that evolution and religion could co-exist. And yet, in most minds, they cannot. No one ever explains why, only that "God said it was" or "science demands it". Though there are few who could combine the ideals.
And then it might not matter at all.
Do I exist?
24 August 2008
Fondly Remembered
One thing that every child born before 1989 looked forward to was getting stuff with the cereal box.
I think it may have been related to the difference in cool shit that we had, compared to the cool shit kids today have. It just doesn't seem to have the same appeal anymore, and today I just can't see why it ever did. Maybe I'm too old. Maybe it's because that shit they pack in with your cereal is pretty fucking disgusting.
Thankfully, they've moved the prizes outside of the bag.
Still, in my Frosted Flakes, among pictures of Harrison Ford and Shia LeBouf (whom I have an intolerance for, thought I don't know why), were the details of a value-add to the container of sugar-encrusted early-morning-fuel. The prize? An "Adventure Spoon", featuring a pillar (the handle) which prominently displays "Indiana Jones" in the trademark swoop, color-coded to indicate the hue your "Adventure Spoon" glows when the switch is turned on and the botton is actuated. In a separate bag was the actual spoon attachment, which was clear plastic and affixable to the top of the "pillar".
When I was about 6, I'd have gone apeshit with this thing. Of course, we used to eat cereal with forks to save the milk. My brother would confirm that.
But now, it seems the fervor behind cereal prizes is gone. It might be due to the fact that kids can bring DVD players, PSPs and Nintendo DSs to the table. Something that would have gotten me a knife stuck in my hand.
But at this point, now at 25, I look at this little plastic blessing and think "that's fucking disgusting." You wouldn't eat food with a toy soldier would you? (Jeremy can skip answering that question). At least plastic untensils give you the impression of sterility.
At least it lights up, I guess.
I think it may have been related to the difference in cool shit that we had, compared to the cool shit kids today have. It just doesn't seem to have the same appeal anymore, and today I just can't see why it ever did. Maybe I'm too old. Maybe it's because that shit they pack in with your cereal is pretty fucking disgusting.
Thankfully, they've moved the prizes outside of the bag.
Still, in my Frosted Flakes, among pictures of Harrison Ford and Shia LeBouf (whom I have an intolerance for, thought I don't know why), were the details of a value-add to the container of sugar-encrusted early-morning-fuel. The prize? An "Adventure Spoon", featuring a pillar (the handle) which prominently displays "Indiana Jones" in the trademark swoop, color-coded to indicate the hue your "Adventure Spoon" glows when the switch is turned on and the botton is actuated. In a separate bag was the actual spoon attachment, which was clear plastic and affixable to the top of the "pillar".
When I was about 6, I'd have gone apeshit with this thing. Of course, we used to eat cereal with forks to save the milk. My brother would confirm that.
But now, it seems the fervor behind cereal prizes is gone. It might be due to the fact that kids can bring DVD players, PSPs and Nintendo DSs to the table. Something that would have gotten me a knife stuck in my hand.
But at this point, now at 25, I look at this little plastic blessing and think "that's fucking disgusting." You wouldn't eat food with a toy soldier would you? (Jeremy can skip answering that question). At least plastic untensils give you the impression of sterility.
At least it lights up, I guess.
21 August 2008
Guess What?
Just a quick update, since I'm feeling way too lazy to do any actual writing, I received my permit to carry from the Dakota County Sheriff's Department.
At first, I was worried that my application had been denied, as it has been only a short week since I applied. But I was wrong. I'm glad to be wrong for once.
At first, I was worried that my application had been denied, as it has been only a short week since I applied. But I was wrong. I'm glad to be wrong for once.
12 August 2008
Redemption
A couple of months ago, I finally made a stop in to the Sprint store, with the intention of getting my cell phone replaced. Not even hell would stop me.
Nor a clerk who clearly didn't want to be there.
After a bit of *ahem* cooperation exercises, I finally got the rep to agree that my phone was defective, that it was indeed ridiculous that I should have to send the phone out to LGs support office for up to a month to have them tell me that the phone is not defective (even though it shipped with faulty firmware), and that from a service standpoint, a customer who can't depend on his phone being on when he wants it turned on will probably not remain a customer much longer than his contract requires him to.
So they replaced my phone, and I have a couple of observations. Number 1?
That's what I'm fucking talking about. This phone works, and it works well. Not so much now that it works well, but that it's actually a good phone. The keyboard is more responsive and accurate, the phone is actually faster in some operations, the phone is now 3G compatible, and it's already excellent battery life is even more excellent. Almost Bill and Ted excellent. Seriously, I recharge it every 4th day, when the battery meter drops 1 bar.
Ok, so I'm not popular enough to get phone calls all the time, but I do text a lot.
I also don't use bluetooth, but it's never been too important to me. I know that I turn it off, this probably helps with the battery life.
I won't write another full review, since they addressed the number 1 concern I had with it, it shutting off all the time, and while it bothers the hell out of me that I had to argue constantly for 6 months to get a replacement, I'm glad I finally did.
Seriously, if you have this phone, and you're having problems, go get that shit replaced.
Nor a clerk who clearly didn't want to be there.
After a bit of *ahem* cooperation exercises, I finally got the rep to agree that my phone was defective, that it was indeed ridiculous that I should have to send the phone out to LGs support office for up to a month to have them tell me that the phone is not defective (even though it shipped with faulty firmware), and that from a service standpoint, a customer who can't depend on his phone being on when he wants it turned on will probably not remain a customer much longer than his contract requires him to.
So they replaced my phone, and I have a couple of observations. Number 1?
That's what I'm fucking talking about. This phone works, and it works well. Not so much now that it works well, but that it's actually a good phone. The keyboard is more responsive and accurate, the phone is actually faster in some operations, the phone is now 3G compatible, and it's already excellent battery life is even more excellent. Almost Bill and Ted excellent. Seriously, I recharge it every 4th day, when the battery meter drops 1 bar.
Ok, so I'm not popular enough to get phone calls all the time, but I do text a lot.
I also don't use bluetooth, but it's never been too important to me. I know that I turn it off, this probably helps with the battery life.
I won't write another full review, since they addressed the number 1 concern I had with it, it shutting off all the time, and while it bothers the hell out of me that I had to argue constantly for 6 months to get a replacement, I'm glad I finally did.
Seriously, if you have this phone, and you're having problems, go get that shit replaced.
11 August 2008
Concealed for Your Comfort
This last Saturday, I finally finished what I'd been meaning to do for about 4 years now. I'm not sure what had delayed me to this point, but there it is, and here I am. I haven't actually finished the process, but the difficult portion is over, and I'm ready to finish it up. Oh, I forgot to mention. I finally finished my Concealed Carry Weapons training.
It seems that everyone in the wife's family is particularly against the idea, but experiences are the things that tend to shape our ideals. Even my father, who was particularly against the idea of concealed carry, seems to be warming to the idea these days.
It seems that whenever I talk to people about CCW, there are polarized opinions about whether or not people can be trusted to carry weapons, but I always wonder why every one is so extreme about those beliefs. Not to say I don't carry the extreme belief on the one side, but where do the experiences come from that say I can't be trusted to carry a weapon for my own, or your defense?
From an political standpoint, my views aren't terribly extreme. I do believe in the second amendment as an important factor of our lives as Americans, as both a constant reminder that our current "freedoms" were earned, and that the "price of freedom is eternal vigilance." But don't call me a vigilante. My intention is not to enforce the law.
Regardless of how the rest of the debate goes, I think it's important to note that no one is ever convinced of the other's viewpoint, so let's not waste our time. But I do feel it's my obligation and my duty to protect myself and my loved ones if I am able to. And while I'm a large person, and some might call me intimidating, that does nothing when an assailant has a gun or a knife.
The truth is, I don't look forward to shooting anyone (and to suggest otherwise is ridiculous), but I do look forward to not being shot. I'm not seeking conflict, but I am seeking my right to exist in peace. If you see me in public, you won't see my weapon, that's all there is to it.
The most curious logic question I have is the longest running NRA question. Where does preventing law abiding citizens from owning and bearing firearms fix the issue of crime? If handguns are banned, you wouldn't see me, or most any other permit holder (with the exception of activists) carrying them, but I'm pretty sure that won't stop a violent repeat felon.
Owning a weapon legally is sometimes a chore. Maintaining the weapon is the most important part of ownership, but the actual cost of the weapon is prohibitive. My brother convinced me to purchase a Sig (I chose the P226 9mm because of the cost of ammunition), which was expensive, but thanks to circumstance, was less expensive than it should have been. I remember a time when buying a handgun on the black market cost roughly 200 dollars. Of course, that might have been used in a murder.
Ammunition is definitely what gets you down. It's entirely possible to expend 60 dollars in ammunition in an hour (I know, I've done it), and that's just the cheap stuff. There a fantastic brand of ammo out there called "Extreme Shock", which is frangible ammunition. For 20 rounds, it's $35 dollars, needless to say, I wouldn't recommend it for target shooting.
I did have to apologize to my brother, my next weapon is a Glock 31. He hates Glocks with a passion, but my mind is more open to the possibility now that I've felt it in my hand. The angles are a little awkward, but as I've learned during the shooting qualification, less important is whether or not you can hit the target at 75 feet, but more important is whether or not you can reacquire the target at 15.
I have to apologize to the guy I met at the training, his name is Ron. Ron was nice enough to stick around to see whether or not I would qualify with my weapon, and to see how well I shoot. Truth is, I was a little nervous going in to the whole thing, and since I hadn't been to the range in a couple of months, I was a little worried about what distances we were talking about (one of the courses I researched had a 15 round 45 foot requirement).
I relaxed a bit when they said 10 rounds at 15 feet, since that doesn't seem very far. I relaxed even further when I saw the target in relationship to myself. My first round was a double action pull, it leaned down and left, to the middle of the 8 ring, I was disappointed so I reacquired and bulleyed. At this point, I just let the other 8 rounds go. The whole experience was about 2 seconds in total, and the rest of the 8 shots all 9 ringed. It was all muscle memory, I wasn't really aiming at all. Sorry, Ron, if you got the impression that I see that well. It was like cheating.
Of course, I wasn't the one who brought the laser to the party. Or 4 guns to choose from.
I already bought a concealed carry holster, and an open carry holster.
My concealed carry holster is a Nick Matthew's special, here a picture:
He's a great guy, it's a fantastic build, great quality, and the best prices in the business. www.nm-holsters.com
You'll notice that the Sig P266R is actually a full sized handgun. I have trouble with compacts because I have such big hands. It's heavy, but it's an incredible weapon. And you really won't be able to see it.
My other holster (the open carry), is the large and unwieldy Blackhawk Serpa CQC. It's an awesome holster, and nearly impossible to break. I won't be using it often, but in the winter time, under a large coat, you won't want to fumble with your layers of clothing.
At the end of the day, if you shoot someone, you're going to jail. I think a lot of people lose sight of this. You'll have to prove you were justified, which is more difficult than say... casting doubt that you are guilty. You've admitted to the event. But it's better than being a victim.
I'll make you a deal though; if I see you in trouble, and you want me to put the gun away and not help you, I will.
It seems that everyone in the wife's family is particularly against the idea, but experiences are the things that tend to shape our ideals. Even my father, who was particularly against the idea of concealed carry, seems to be warming to the idea these days.
It seems that whenever I talk to people about CCW, there are polarized opinions about whether or not people can be trusted to carry weapons, but I always wonder why every one is so extreme about those beliefs. Not to say I don't carry the extreme belief on the one side, but where do the experiences come from that say I can't be trusted to carry a weapon for my own, or your defense?
From an political standpoint, my views aren't terribly extreme. I do believe in the second amendment as an important factor of our lives as Americans, as both a constant reminder that our current "freedoms" were earned, and that the "price of freedom is eternal vigilance." But don't call me a vigilante. My intention is not to enforce the law.
Regardless of how the rest of the debate goes, I think it's important to note that no one is ever convinced of the other's viewpoint, so let's not waste our time. But I do feel it's my obligation and my duty to protect myself and my loved ones if I am able to. And while I'm a large person, and some might call me intimidating, that does nothing when an assailant has a gun or a knife.
The truth is, I don't look forward to shooting anyone (and to suggest otherwise is ridiculous), but I do look forward to not being shot. I'm not seeking conflict, but I am seeking my right to exist in peace. If you see me in public, you won't see my weapon, that's all there is to it.
The most curious logic question I have is the longest running NRA question. Where does preventing law abiding citizens from owning and bearing firearms fix the issue of crime? If handguns are banned, you wouldn't see me, or most any other permit holder (with the exception of activists) carrying them, but I'm pretty sure that won't stop a violent repeat felon.
Owning a weapon legally is sometimes a chore. Maintaining the weapon is the most important part of ownership, but the actual cost of the weapon is prohibitive. My brother convinced me to purchase a Sig (I chose the P226 9mm because of the cost of ammunition), which was expensive, but thanks to circumstance, was less expensive than it should have been. I remember a time when buying a handgun on the black market cost roughly 200 dollars. Of course, that might have been used in a murder.
Ammunition is definitely what gets you down. It's entirely possible to expend 60 dollars in ammunition in an hour (I know, I've done it), and that's just the cheap stuff. There a fantastic brand of ammo out there called "Extreme Shock", which is frangible ammunition. For 20 rounds, it's $35 dollars, needless to say, I wouldn't recommend it for target shooting.
I did have to apologize to my brother, my next weapon is a Glock 31. He hates Glocks with a passion, but my mind is more open to the possibility now that I've felt it in my hand. The angles are a little awkward, but as I've learned during the shooting qualification, less important is whether or not you can hit the target at 75 feet, but more important is whether or not you can reacquire the target at 15.
I have to apologize to the guy I met at the training, his name is Ron. Ron was nice enough to stick around to see whether or not I would qualify with my weapon, and to see how well I shoot. Truth is, I was a little nervous going in to the whole thing, and since I hadn't been to the range in a couple of months, I was a little worried about what distances we were talking about (one of the courses I researched had a 15 round 45 foot requirement).
I relaxed a bit when they said 10 rounds at 15 feet, since that doesn't seem very far. I relaxed even further when I saw the target in relationship to myself. My first round was a double action pull, it leaned down and left, to the middle of the 8 ring, I was disappointed so I reacquired and bulleyed. At this point, I just let the other 8 rounds go. The whole experience was about 2 seconds in total, and the rest of the 8 shots all 9 ringed. It was all muscle memory, I wasn't really aiming at all. Sorry, Ron, if you got the impression that I see that well. It was like cheating.
Of course, I wasn't the one who brought the laser to the party. Or 4 guns to choose from.
I already bought a concealed carry holster, and an open carry holster.
My concealed carry holster is a Nick Matthew's special, here a picture:
He's a great guy, it's a fantastic build, great quality, and the best prices in the business. www.nm-holsters.comYou'll notice that the Sig P266R is actually a full sized handgun. I have trouble with compacts because I have such big hands. It's heavy, but it's an incredible weapon. And you really won't be able to see it.
My other holster (the open carry), is the large and unwieldy Blackhawk Serpa CQC. It's an awesome holster, and nearly impossible to break. I won't be using it often, but in the winter time, under a large coat, you won't want to fumble with your layers of clothing.
At the end of the day, if you shoot someone, you're going to jail. I think a lot of people lose sight of this. You'll have to prove you were justified, which is more difficult than say... casting doubt that you are guilty. You've admitted to the event. But it's better than being a victim.
I'll make you a deal though; if I see you in trouble, and you want me to put the gun away and not help you, I will.
28 July 2008
Internet Culture (in a nutshell)
Of the millions of people, a hundreds of thousands of communities on the internet, it's interesting to see how people break down. The communities I tend to frequent are information related, and there is definitely an interesting culture there. I like to call them "God Complex Communities."
That's not to say I haven't fallen in to the same trap that often causes my digitally adept brethren such anxiety when it comes to answering a simple query from our inept counterparts. Or even just reading the question...
Because the answer is posted in the first 3000 results on Google.
In my most recent experiences, I'd say you could breakdown information communities in to three main groups (and several subgroups).
1) People who know what the fuck they're doing. (Knowledgimus Attainimus)
2) People who lie about knowing what the fuck they're doing. (Assisitmus Asshatimus)
3) People who don't know what the fuck they're doing, and are unwilling to do anything for themselves to remedy this situation. (Fucking Lazy)
To clarify, normally I would connect 2 and 3, but the information community is special. The people of 2 are generally willing to look up information if it pertains to what they need to know. They'll just make up the rest for you later.
Let's break this down, though.
1) People who know what the fuck they're doing.
In this group, I find I'm able to classify them in to 3 subcategories. Not everyone falls in to the same group all of the time, it really depends on the subject and the time of day for some people.
So, sub-phyla a: People who are willing to bend over backwards to help you with your problems (The latin joke wasn't funny to begin with, so I'll end it here).
These people are like those teachers in high school that tell you that you can do anything, are willing to stay late to help you with a few problems you just could not figure out and might even be willing to take some time on the weekend to make sure. Teaching you helps them learn later on. They're cautious to remind you that the information is available in the source if it doesn't seem like you're making an honest effort, but will defend you from anyone who says you're just too stupid to get it. Also, they're probably fucking your girlfriend.
Sub-phyla b starts with a person generally of the same knowledge level, or perhaps higher than the people of sub-phyla a. These people, however, are only willing to point you in the direction of the information (usually by saying "Google is your friend") and ending the conversation there. They are the equivalent of that chemistry teacher who would only answer you by saying "What do you think?"
Sub-phyla c is a mixed bunch. They are about a 50/50 split on the knowledge level (people who know way too much about the subject, and people who know just enough to get by). When asked a question, or even spotting a question in a forum 5 threads down from where they were watching their posts, they'll quickly swoop in, call you a "Fucking idiot" and tell you that "if you missed the other 50,000 posts, you should use the fucking search feature on this god-damned website" and that "things were way better before all the noobs got here." This is who sub-phyla a would defend you from.
2) People who lie about knowing what the fuck they're doing.
Out of group 2, there are only two sub-phyla; a, the people who are lying to you about what is happening but sound really confident (these guys usually get called out and disappear, this can be mistaken for sarcasm, but don't believe that, they were just lying.), and b, the people who lying about it but end every sentence with "But I don't know", "I could be wrong", "IMO" or "IMHO" and "That's what worked for me".
Ignore both of these people.
3) People who don't know what the fuck they're doing, and are usually unwilling to do anything for themselves to remedy this situation. (n00bz!)
The interesting thing about these communities is that it really is the noobs that are the reason things are there. Smart moderators try to keep a lid on stupid people, but they'll also restrain the knowledgeable assholes. Friendly communities bring in the most ad revenue.
Noobs are interesting. It doesn't take much to be one. In some circles, masters of one sort of information are completely useless in others. Sometimes it doesn't even have to do with separate subjects. Of these, there are four types.
A- This is public enemy number one. Too lazy to do anything about it guy. Even though the information is available everywhere, you need to tell him because he's asking really nicely. He will never stop asking questions until God himself reaches down and helps him out. "Can anyone help me? I can't see the picture, I only get sound. Thanks in advance!"
B- This is public enemy number two. He's actually more of a jerk, and he found the basic information, but he can't get a hold of the concept and it's all your fault. When he's being a real dick, he'll pretend to be sarcastic or end his posts with "lol". The only reason that these guys aren't number one is because they quit very quickly. "I can't get this custom firmware to install and it's really PISSING ME OFF. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE, IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO CODE SOFTWARE BECAUSE I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE IT. /Sarcasm. LOL :)"
Go ahead, act like you weren't being a complete dick. That's fine... I'm sure no one will notice.
C- They're what I like to call the "believers". Not because they believe in what you're saying, but because they're like those guys that are convinced that the brief glimpse of an alien is real. Or that the debunking of UFO videos is just a cover up. They simply don't listen, and aren't happy until you're saying what they want to read.
From the post- "and you will need to use a service/pandora/tool battery to install this custom firmware. Please stop asking. If you don't have one, make one, and if you can't make one, buy one."
noob- "Cool, so does this mean that I don't need a pandora battery?"
And D- The best noob of all, the reader. The most you get out of this guy is "LOL, thanks", or "Awesome guide, you guys are great. I never would have figured this out without your help." These people are usually the experts on other subjects and have decided to expand their knowledge out of interest, or because it will help them later on. They've already googled it and found what they needed. Or were actually reading the posts on the forums and found the linke that you created to point the noobs in the direction to the previously posted information.
Here's a sample thread, which is the goings on of just about every thread on the PSP mod forums, and even the piratebay:
1a- Hey guys, I've created a guide on how to install the new custom firmware that Dark Alex has released for the psp. You'll need a pandora/tool/service battery and a memory stick at least 256 megs big. Here it goes: (content)
3a- Nice guide. Thanks.
2a- Wow, great job. I was just writing my own custom firmware that even lets you do something unrealistically amazing.
1c- No you didn't. You're a fucking liar. Or prove it.
2a- Come on, I was being sarcastic.
3a- Hey, I can't run this, it says "could not initiallize". Can anyone help? I'd really appreciate it.
1c- God, what the fuck is wrong with you fucking noobs? Why can't you just find your own god-fucking-damned information. All this bullshit was already available in the last 4 million threads.
1b- Google it. Google is your friend.
1a- Chill, dude. (Detailed set of questions regarding situation, but at the end, he only has one suggestion, the right one.) Did you downgrade to 1.5 with a Magic Memory Stick?
3a- How to I create a magic memory stick?
1a- (Helpful link).
3b- I can't believe this bullshit. Why don't you learn how to code? This shit doesn't work. You guys are probably distributing viruses or something. lol.
3a- Can you help me with creating a magic memory stick?
1c- Are you fucking serious? He only posted that link like 3 minutes before you posted. At least fucking try it.
3a (an hour later)- Help? Plz?
1a- No, I think I agree with 1c on this one. You should try it before asking.
2b- I had to do some swap trick with two memory sticks and two batteries. I'm not sure how, but it worked for me. It was pretty easy, IMHO.
1b- Swap trick? What are you on? We haven't had to do swap tricks since the % trick.
3a- The what?
1b- Nevermind. Fucking google it.
1a- Do you have a pandora battery?
3a- No?
1a- Make one. Here's a guide (Useful link).
3a- I don't know how to do that.
1a- Fine, buy one. (Useful link).
3b- Why the fuck should he buy one? Why doesn't your shit just work? (User was banned for this post)
3a- Why can't I just install this?
1a- Look, I've tried to help you, but maybe you should just pay someone to do this for you.
3a- Can you do it? For Free?
2a- I can!
1a- No you can't, shut up. And I won't. Sorry, but you need to figure this out on your own.
3c- Wow, nice guide. So you don't need a Pandora battery right?
1a- Just... shut up.
3d- Hey, thanks for the guide, 1c. It really helped me install the CFW. I don't know why the other guys couldn't get it. I thought the pictures really helped.
(This example thread was edited for content. Most real world threads won't be nearly as legible with all the chat speak and illiteracy that ironically plagues the internet. Here's the original thread: http://www.pspmod.com/forums/custom-firmware/8459-dark_alex-custom-firmware-q-thread.html)
And in case you can't take a hint: Google it.
That's not to say I haven't fallen in to the same trap that often causes my digitally adept brethren such anxiety when it comes to answering a simple query from our inept counterparts. Or even just reading the question...
Because the answer is posted in the first 3000 results on Google.
In my most recent experiences, I'd say you could breakdown information communities in to three main groups (and several subgroups).
1) People who know what the fuck they're doing. (Knowledgimus Attainimus)
2) People who lie about knowing what the fuck they're doing. (Assisitmus Asshatimus)
3) People who don't know what the fuck they're doing, and are unwilling to do anything for themselves to remedy this situation. (Fucking Lazy)
To clarify, normally I would connect 2 and 3, but the information community is special. The people of 2 are generally willing to look up information if it pertains to what they need to know. They'll just make up the rest for you later.
Let's break this down, though.
1) People who know what the fuck they're doing.
In this group, I find I'm able to classify them in to 3 subcategories. Not everyone falls in to the same group all of the time, it really depends on the subject and the time of day for some people.
So, sub-phyla a: People who are willing to bend over backwards to help you with your problems (The latin joke wasn't funny to begin with, so I'll end it here).
These people are like those teachers in high school that tell you that you can do anything, are willing to stay late to help you with a few problems you just could not figure out and might even be willing to take some time on the weekend to make sure. Teaching you helps them learn later on. They're cautious to remind you that the information is available in the source if it doesn't seem like you're making an honest effort, but will defend you from anyone who says you're just too stupid to get it. Also, they're probably fucking your girlfriend.
Sub-phyla b starts with a person generally of the same knowledge level, or perhaps higher than the people of sub-phyla a. These people, however, are only willing to point you in the direction of the information (usually by saying "Google is your friend") and ending the conversation there. They are the equivalent of that chemistry teacher who would only answer you by saying "What do you think?"
Sub-phyla c is a mixed bunch. They are about a 50/50 split on the knowledge level (people who know way too much about the subject, and people who know just enough to get by). When asked a question, or even spotting a question in a forum 5 threads down from where they were watching their posts, they'll quickly swoop in, call you a "Fucking idiot" and tell you that "if you missed the other 50,000 posts, you should use the fucking search feature on this god-damned website" and that "things were way better before all the noobs got here." This is who sub-phyla a would defend you from.
2) People who lie about knowing what the fuck they're doing.
Out of group 2, there are only two sub-phyla; a, the people who are lying to you about what is happening but sound really confident (these guys usually get called out and disappear, this can be mistaken for sarcasm, but don't believe that, they were just lying.), and b, the people who lying about it but end every sentence with "But I don't know", "I could be wrong", "IMO" or "IMHO" and "That's what worked for me".
Ignore both of these people.
3) People who don't know what the fuck they're doing, and are usually unwilling to do anything for themselves to remedy this situation. (n00bz!)
The interesting thing about these communities is that it really is the noobs that are the reason things are there. Smart moderators try to keep a lid on stupid people, but they'll also restrain the knowledgeable assholes. Friendly communities bring in the most ad revenue.
Noobs are interesting. It doesn't take much to be one. In some circles, masters of one sort of information are completely useless in others. Sometimes it doesn't even have to do with separate subjects. Of these, there are four types.
A- This is public enemy number one. Too lazy to do anything about it guy. Even though the information is available everywhere, you need to tell him because he's asking really nicely. He will never stop asking questions until God himself reaches down and helps him out. "Can anyone help me? I can't see the picture, I only get sound. Thanks in advance!"
B- This is public enemy number two. He's actually more of a jerk, and he found the basic information, but he can't get a hold of the concept and it's all your fault. When he's being a real dick, he'll pretend to be sarcastic or end his posts with "lol". The only reason that these guys aren't number one is because they quit very quickly. "I can't get this custom firmware to install and it's really PISSING ME OFF. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE, IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO CODE SOFTWARE BECAUSE I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE IT. /Sarcasm. LOL :)"
Go ahead, act like you weren't being a complete dick. That's fine... I'm sure no one will notice.
C- They're what I like to call the "believers". Not because they believe in what you're saying, but because they're like those guys that are convinced that the brief glimpse of an alien is real. Or that the debunking of UFO videos is just a cover up. They simply don't listen, and aren't happy until you're saying what they want to read.
From the post- "and you will need to use a service/pandora/tool battery to install this custom firmware. Please stop asking. If you don't have one, make one, and if you can't make one, buy one."
noob- "Cool, so does this mean that I don't need a pandora battery?"
And D- The best noob of all, the reader. The most you get out of this guy is "LOL, thanks", or "Awesome guide, you guys are great. I never would have figured this out without your help." These people are usually the experts on other subjects and have decided to expand their knowledge out of interest, or because it will help them later on. They've already googled it and found what they needed. Or were actually reading the posts on the forums and found the linke that you created to point the noobs in the direction to the previously posted information.
Here's a sample thread, which is the goings on of just about every thread on the PSP mod forums, and even the piratebay:
1a- Hey guys, I've created a guide on how to install the new custom firmware that Dark Alex has released for the psp. You'll need a pandora/tool/service battery and a memory stick at least 256 megs big. Here it goes: (content)
3a- Nice guide. Thanks.
2a- Wow, great job. I was just writing my own custom firmware that even lets you do something unrealistically amazing.
1c- No you didn't. You're a fucking liar. Or prove it.
2a- Come on, I was being sarcastic.
3a- Hey, I can't run this, it says "could not initiallize". Can anyone help? I'd really appreciate it.
1c- God, what the fuck is wrong with you fucking noobs? Why can't you just find your own god-fucking-damned information. All this bullshit was already available in the last 4 million threads.
1b- Google it. Google is your friend.
1a- Chill, dude. (Detailed set of questions regarding situation, but at the end, he only has one suggestion, the right one.) Did you downgrade to 1.5 with a Magic Memory Stick?
3a- How to I create a magic memory stick?
1a- (Helpful link).
3b- I can't believe this bullshit. Why don't you learn how to code? This shit doesn't work. You guys are probably distributing viruses or something. lol.
3a- Can you help me with creating a magic memory stick?
1c- Are you fucking serious? He only posted that link like 3 minutes before you posted. At least fucking try it.
3a (an hour later)- Help? Plz?
1a- No, I think I agree with 1c on this one. You should try it before asking.
2b- I had to do some swap trick with two memory sticks and two batteries. I'm not sure how, but it worked for me. It was pretty easy, IMHO.
1b- Swap trick? What are you on? We haven't had to do swap tricks since the % trick.
3a- The what?
1b- Nevermind. Fucking google it.
1a- Do you have a pandora battery?
3a- No?
1a- Make one. Here's a guide (Useful link).
3a- I don't know how to do that.
1a- Fine, buy one. (Useful link).
3b- Why the fuck should he buy one? Why doesn't your shit just work? (User was banned for this post)
3a- Why can't I just install this?
1a- Look, I've tried to help you, but maybe you should just pay someone to do this for you.
3a- Can you do it? For Free?
2a- I can!
1a- No you can't, shut up. And I won't. Sorry, but you need to figure this out on your own.
3c- Wow, nice guide. So you don't need a Pandora battery right?
1a- Just... shut up.
3d- Hey, thanks for the guide, 1c. It really helped me install the CFW. I don't know why the other guys couldn't get it. I thought the pictures really helped.
(This example thread was edited for content. Most real world threads won't be nearly as legible with all the chat speak and illiteracy that ironically plagues the internet. Here's the original thread: http://www.pspmod.com/forums/custom-firmware/8459-dark_alex-custom-firmware-q-thread.html)
And in case you can't take a hint: Google it.
21 July 2008
What's up more than a month?
I remember a time when I could barely restrain myself from posting 5 times a week, and here I've let this sit for a month. Shame on me.
Today, I find myself contemplative. Not of any other greater ideal. Not of our nation's current economic situation (regardless of how I think the economy is actually doing). But of The Dark Knight.
This summer's blockbuster has gone under no one's radar after all the fantastic press, not to mention the death of Heath Ledger (which now has his fans rabidly calling for an Oscar due to his performance). I'm sure you know all that because you haven't been hiding under a rock the last two weeks.
And now that The Dark Knight has broken records left and right, and though unofficially there is no numbers to say it's outperformed the dreadful Spiderman 3 for a total weekend box-office pull, I find it extremely difficult to believe that it hasn't, and I think everyone's studio estimates have their money on the same outcome.
I say good for them. And, I'm dying to see this movie. But I can't.
It's not because I don't enjoy movies. I loved Batman Begins. I'd even call myself a Christian Bale fan (not as big as others may be, but a fan nonetheless). Man crush even.
My inability to see this movie stems from my absolute hatred of the theater experience. I don't mind paying for tickets. Or even ridiculous concession prices (and they are ridiculous, but standing in line and saying "Wow, these prices are ridiculous" doesn't lower prices, it just makes you look like an ass to the 16 year old girl that gets paid 5.75 an hour to get your popcorn and listen to you complain about the prices).
My problem isn't even the seating (but some of you need to take your fucking hats off). It's the people. Which goes back to people and hats.
I have 6 rules to theater going, and you can call me an asshole, but if I spend 10 dollars on a ticket, I spent 10 bucks to so fuck you. I follow these rules, and I assume that decent people follow them, too. But some people don't. So I don't go to theaters. It solves the problem on both ends.
Rule #1: Shut the fuck up. -I don't want to hear it, your friends don't want to hear it. How are you enjoying the movie if you're not listening to what the fuck is going on?
Rule #2: Shut the fuck up. -I'm not just talking about your friend. You too. Stop talking.
Rule #3: Put the god-damned phone away. -I don't care. I think you can live without it for 2 and a half hours.
Rule #4: No, really, put the god-damned phone away. -Texting is still not an acceptable usage for a phone in the theater. I especially since you think the phone talker guy is rude. I make an exception for this. If you're willing to wear a big jacket and zip it up, then do all your texting with your head in the jacket turtle-style, then I'm willing to compromise.
Rule #5: If you're in the theater, you should know what your bladder is capable of. -The obvious exception to this rule is kids movies. But I haven't seen a movie under PG-13 in theaters in probably 15 years. And really, PG-13 is the new R. Stop drinking the whole soda and sit down. I really don't want to hear, or feel the door opening. A theater is like a big subwoofer, and opening that door changes the whole atmosphere.
Rule #6: Be mindful of others. Physically. -I'm a big guy, but if I'm in a crowded theater, I'll pull my shoulders in so that I'm not touching you. Don't touch me. Especially don't touch me if I don't know you. Don't take up both arm rests if there are people sitting directly next to you. And put your feet on the floor. If you kick me in the head because you can't sit with your feet on the floor, I'm really gonna fuck up your night.
I know that if I go and see this movie, that someone is bound to violate these rules (and if not just 1, which I can almost tolerate, then all of them).
The internal debate is then whether or not I'm willing to put up with it in order to see a movie. 99 times out of 100, the answer is no.
I'm still undecided.
Today, I find myself contemplative. Not of any other greater ideal. Not of our nation's current economic situation (regardless of how I think the economy is actually doing). But of The Dark Knight.
This summer's blockbuster has gone under no one's radar after all the fantastic press, not to mention the death of Heath Ledger (which now has his fans rabidly calling for an Oscar due to his performance). I'm sure you know all that because you haven't been hiding under a rock the last two weeks.
And now that The Dark Knight has broken records left and right, and though unofficially there is no numbers to say it's outperformed the dreadful Spiderman 3 for a total weekend box-office pull, I find it extremely difficult to believe that it hasn't, and I think everyone's studio estimates have their money on the same outcome.
I say good for them. And, I'm dying to see this movie. But I can't.
It's not because I don't enjoy movies. I loved Batman Begins. I'd even call myself a Christian Bale fan (not as big as others may be, but a fan nonetheless). Man crush even.
My inability to see this movie stems from my absolute hatred of the theater experience. I don't mind paying for tickets. Or even ridiculous concession prices (and they are ridiculous, but standing in line and saying "Wow, these prices are ridiculous" doesn't lower prices, it just makes you look like an ass to the 16 year old girl that gets paid 5.75 an hour to get your popcorn and listen to you complain about the prices).
My problem isn't even the seating (but some of you need to take your fucking hats off). It's the people. Which goes back to people and hats.
I have 6 rules to theater going, and you can call me an asshole, but if I spend 10 dollars on a ticket, I spent 10 bucks to so fuck you. I follow these rules, and I assume that decent people follow them, too. But some people don't. So I don't go to theaters. It solves the problem on both ends.
Rule #1: Shut the fuck up. -I don't want to hear it, your friends don't want to hear it. How are you enjoying the movie if you're not listening to what the fuck is going on?
Rule #2: Shut the fuck up. -I'm not just talking about your friend. You too. Stop talking.
Rule #3: Put the god-damned phone away. -I don't care. I think you can live without it for 2 and a half hours.
Rule #4: No, really, put the god-damned phone away. -Texting is still not an acceptable usage for a phone in the theater. I especially since you think the phone talker guy is rude. I make an exception for this. If you're willing to wear a big jacket and zip it up, then do all your texting with your head in the jacket turtle-style, then I'm willing to compromise.
Rule #5: If you're in the theater, you should know what your bladder is capable of. -The obvious exception to this rule is kids movies. But I haven't seen a movie under PG-13 in theaters in probably 15 years. And really, PG-13 is the new R. Stop drinking the whole soda and sit down. I really don't want to hear, or feel the door opening. A theater is like a big subwoofer, and opening that door changes the whole atmosphere.
Rule #6: Be mindful of others. Physically. -I'm a big guy, but if I'm in a crowded theater, I'll pull my shoulders in so that I'm not touching you. Don't touch me. Especially don't touch me if I don't know you. Don't take up both arm rests if there are people sitting directly next to you. And put your feet on the floor. If you kick me in the head because you can't sit with your feet on the floor, I'm really gonna fuck up your night.
I know that if I go and see this movie, that someone is bound to violate these rules (and if not just 1, which I can almost tolerate, then all of them).
The internal debate is then whether or not I'm willing to put up with it in order to see a movie. 99 times out of 100, the answer is no.
I'm still undecided.
16 June 2008
I Promised Myself I Wouldn't Cry
My obsession with certain games, and addiction to certain book series' probably relates directly to my ability to relate to, sympathize with or even respect the characters that are portrayed. While I have a hard time enjoying books or movies with the end-all-be-all-bad-ass, I do (as many others do) gravitate towards the unlikely, or reluctant hero. Snake doesn't really fit any specific category, but is more like a end-all-be-all-bad-ass-unlikely-reluctant hero.
If you haven't played the games, only the first third of that statement will make sense to you, unless you haven't heard anything about it, or seen a commercial, then you don't give two shits about what I'm saying.
In any case, it's an interesting turn of events that this game had been so all encompassing that I haven't written a blog entry since the release date. The very date my last blog entry was (when I mounted the kitchen pc) the same night I stood outside with people much more talkative and annoying than I to play a game I'd been waiting for 3 and a half years for.
Now that it's over (and I've beat the game more than 4 times at this point), I'm not sure what there is left to say except that it was like losing a friend.
Now that everything is over, it seems like there is nothing left. I still play the game online, as there is an online component, but it doesn't quite compare. After 20 years of mystery, excitement and double crossings (of course, I still have the original NES cartridge), it really is the end of an era.
If you haven't played the games, only the first third of that statement will make sense to you, unless you haven't heard anything about it, or seen a commercial, then you don't give two shits about what I'm saying.
In any case, it's an interesting turn of events that this game had been so all encompassing that I haven't written a blog entry since the release date. The very date my last blog entry was (when I mounted the kitchen pc) the same night I stood outside with people much more talkative and annoying than I to play a game I'd been waiting for 3 and a half years for.
Now that it's over (and I've beat the game more than 4 times at this point), I'm not sure what there is left to say except that it was like losing a friend.
Now that everything is over, it seems like there is nothing left. I still play the game online, as there is an online component, but it doesn't quite compare. After 20 years of mystery, excitement and double crossings (of course, I still have the original NES cartridge), it really is the end of an era.
12 June 2008
King of Procrastination
I work in phases. Kind of like the moon, but a lot lazier. Namely a "when-I-feel-like-it" basis.
I have a hard time faulting myself for this method. It doesn't agree with the business world, truth be told, however it does prevent me from putting out some really bad work.
One thing that I've been avoiding like the plague or the stinky kid in elementary school is the kitchen computer. Not so much building it, as installing it.
It'd been built for a while, and Gina even bought a touch screen monitor to make it all snazzy and what not. Months had gone by and my initial installation date rolled on. This time, not so much from laziness (well, it was there, too), but from ignorance.
One thing I should mention, if I were to have evaluated this house when it was built, I would have had to have them do it all over again. There are short cuts everywhere you look. Calling the spacing between studs non-standard would be like saying Gilbert Gottfried is kind of annoying. The wall it was mounted on has two studs, where the "doorway" opens and where the wall meets a corner. The electrical wiring is hanging out, so everything had to be done around it.
My buddy made some promises to help, but these grand plans never came to fruition, instead, last weekend (on another failed attempt to rendezvous with my friend), I made it my goal to finish this damned project for once and for all). Here are the final results:
That's right. Who's got a huge ass computer in their kitchen?
I am a mushroom cloud makin' mothafucker, mothafucker.
I have a hard time faulting myself for this method. It doesn't agree with the business world, truth be told, however it does prevent me from putting out some really bad work.
One thing that I've been avoiding like the plague or the stinky kid in elementary school is the kitchen computer. Not so much building it, as installing it.
It'd been built for a while, and Gina even bought a touch screen monitor to make it all snazzy and what not. Months had gone by and my initial installation date rolled on. This time, not so much from laziness (well, it was there, too), but from ignorance.
One thing I should mention, if I were to have evaluated this house when it was built, I would have had to have them do it all over again. There are short cuts everywhere you look. Calling the spacing between studs non-standard would be like saying Gilbert Gottfried is kind of annoying. The wall it was mounted on has two studs, where the "doorway" opens and where the wall meets a corner. The electrical wiring is hanging out, so everything had to be done around it.
My buddy made some promises to help, but these grand plans never came to fruition, instead, last weekend (on another failed attempt to rendezvous with my friend), I made it my goal to finish this damned project for once and for all). Here are the final results:
That's right. Who's got a huge ass computer in their kitchen?
I am a mushroom cloud makin' mothafucker, mothafucker.
02 June 2008
Career Paths
When you're young, you're full of ideals. Some of them are placed there by your parents, some you acquire along the way.
What did you want to be when you were growing up? Chances are, if you're like the other 98% of us, you're not doing it today. Maybe you realized that whatever it was that you wanted to do was absolutely no fun at all. Maybe you realized that the chances of your being able to do it was close to nil. Maybe you smoked too much pot in high school. Who knows?
Just the same, here you are.
When I was younger, I wanted to be a cop. Then I wanted to be an astronaut... then a lawyer (you can blame my mom for that). Then sometime around high school I didn't want to be anything. And now that I'm in the real world, and I've done enough different "skilled" jobs to make a Con-artist sick (all without a college education, I might proudly add), I think I've come full circle.
But that's another story.
There was a time around the 5th grade, when Nintendo Power was at the height of it's popularity, I was a student of Tracey Elementary School, a girl named Anna had my attentions, and I had hers (though I was too stupid to make use of them). Awkwardly, one of my better friends at the time was her brother, whom I will not name, though we had much in common, and often traded nintendo games with each other.
The prolific "Nintendo Power" we were so fond of would make no impression as a serious gaming magazine these days, but gaming, still technically in its infancy, was a bit of a different world. Authors of reviews would offer primitive descriptions of games with fancy details about levels to prove that they'd actually played them. What constituted a good game was a finer line than today when more was left to the imagination that the graphics hardware.
Still, you'd dream of a job where you'd get paid to write down your thoughts regarding a specific video game title. Getting paid to play games? Who wouldn't want that? Since you currently pay to play games, it was a trifecta of awesomeness. You didn't have a crappy job, you played games, and you got paid to play them.
Of course, whenever we did get the idea to review games, it seems we weren't quite eloquent enough to hold our own attentions, much less that of the reader.
Still, there were those of us that would try. And fail.
The videos below show a nineties era game review. Notice how in the first one, regarding Goldeneye, he states that the game is too hard, and that the game gets boring, and that he wants more cutscenes. Also note that he says he didn't play multiplayer, and that nobody buys a game for multiplayer.
Then think about how Goldeneye ushered in a new era of multiplayer games, and changed the shape of party gaming.
Now watch this:
Then watch this (which has nothing to do with goldeneye).
About halfway thru this guy's review does he say something so surprising I had to stop the video and listen for it again:
It all makes me think I should have gone and done it anyway.
Still, here's more of this crappy review company, in case you're interested in revisiting the past. (If you want to get a look at the guy whose annoying voice you've been listening to, try this link.)
What did you want to be when you were growing up? Chances are, if you're like the other 98% of us, you're not doing it today. Maybe you realized that whatever it was that you wanted to do was absolutely no fun at all. Maybe you realized that the chances of your being able to do it was close to nil. Maybe you smoked too much pot in high school. Who knows?
Just the same, here you are.
When I was younger, I wanted to be a cop. Then I wanted to be an astronaut... then a lawyer (you can blame my mom for that). Then sometime around high school I didn't want to be anything. And now that I'm in the real world, and I've done enough different "skilled" jobs to make a Con-artist sick (all without a college education, I might proudly add), I think I've come full circle.
But that's another story.
There was a time around the 5th grade, when Nintendo Power was at the height of it's popularity, I was a student of Tracey Elementary School, a girl named Anna had my attentions, and I had hers (though I was too stupid to make use of them). Awkwardly, one of my better friends at the time was her brother, whom I will not name, though we had much in common, and often traded nintendo games with each other.
The prolific "Nintendo Power" we were so fond of would make no impression as a serious gaming magazine these days, but gaming, still technically in its infancy, was a bit of a different world. Authors of reviews would offer primitive descriptions of games with fancy details about levels to prove that they'd actually played them. What constituted a good game was a finer line than today when more was left to the imagination that the graphics hardware.
Still, you'd dream of a job where you'd get paid to write down your thoughts regarding a specific video game title. Getting paid to play games? Who wouldn't want that? Since you currently pay to play games, it was a trifecta of awesomeness. You didn't have a crappy job, you played games, and you got paid to play them.
Of course, whenever we did get the idea to review games, it seems we weren't quite eloquent enough to hold our own attentions, much less that of the reader.
Still, there were those of us that would try. And fail.
The videos below show a nineties era game review. Notice how in the first one, regarding Goldeneye, he states that the game is too hard, and that the game gets boring, and that he wants more cutscenes. Also note that he says he didn't play multiplayer, and that nobody buys a game for multiplayer.
Then think about how Goldeneye ushered in a new era of multiplayer games, and changed the shape of party gaming.
Now watch this:
Then watch this (which has nothing to do with goldeneye).
About halfway thru this guy's review does he say something so surprising I had to stop the video and listen for it again:
It all makes me think I should have gone and done it anyway.
Still, here's more of this crappy review company, in case you're interested in revisiting the past. (If you want to get a look at the guy whose annoying voice you've been listening to, try this link.)
19 May 2008
Two for the price of one
Before I start, I'd like to say that I may be maintaining a pace of about one a week, sometimes it's less than that. I am neither apologetic about this, nor am I remorseful.
This weekend I found time to watch a movie I'd been avoiding for a few weeks now.
I suppose if you know me, you know my attachment to horrible, or at least moderately bad movies. A couple of examples? Wing Commander. Hackers. Between those two, if my punishment in hell was to watch the same two horrid movies for the rest of eternity, this would be closer to purgatory for me.
Don't think I could last? I might surprise you. I've seen Wing Commander more than 30 times. 4 of those times in theaters. When I get home at the end of the day, it's a bit of a chore not to plop down and watch it, even knowing that they threw away all the good bits of the Wing Commander saga and raped what was left... And you already know how much I love that series.
But there is some charm to bad movies. And I don't know what it is, but I almost prefer them to good ones. The good ones are so serious. And as serious a person I may be, I do enjoy the occasional chuckle. That's why I sat down and watched "In the Name of the King: a Dungeon Siege tale".
Ahh.... Uwe Boll. The bringer of such impeccable masterpieces, like; House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne and most recently In the Name of the King. (There is also a Postal movie that I really look forward to viewing.)
Boll is revered in the movie and gaming communities as a destroyer of Intellectual Properties, but the truth is, I think I'm a fan of his work.
Granted, I think it's hard to find anything redeemable in House of the Dead, but even his work in Alone in the Dark showed promise. Not everyone is a Wunderkind, but Boll has touched a very specific audience in a negative way. He is constantly criticized as a director who has no respect for the games he is translating, but I really don't think he sees it that way.
His latest production "In the Name of the King" is... interesting. There are things that I want to like about the movie, and things that I can't stand. I feel that one of the improvements Boll could make is to have someone rewrite the dialogue in a more natural manner. While "In the Name of the King" appears to take place in some fantasy land reminiscent of Scotland and England, a lot of the dialogue is uneven, in some places seeming clumsy and unwarranted (to move the plot along), in other places, far too elaborate (though this is usually where you gather the best quotes).
One of the greatest improvements I could attribute to Boll is that he appears to be doing his homework. His cinematography is vastly improved over the span of his American work and the extra effort really shows. While I think his stage crew could probably do more to integrate the stage setup in to the shots Boll sets up, I get the impression that Boll does his exposition shots after he films on stage. His light work has also come along way.
Hands down, the largest detractor from his work appears to be a shared responsibility: Casting and acting.
I'm not sure what they do to cast the parts out, if there are any feelers involved, or if they simply have someone in mind for the part when they write it and go balls out to get that person (which may be the case, as Boll casts many repeat actors), but I wonder if it might help to do screen tests with the actors to ensure that they mesh well. (A perfect example is the absolute lack of chemistry between Christian Slater--Whom I have a great amount of respect for-- and Tara Reid--Who may have finally gotten her plastic surgery fixed). The chemistry mismatch is certainly apparent, even as far as child actors go (Colin Ford as Zeph made me wish the kid was dead--I know, picking on a child actor isn't fair, but this is my opinion God Dammit).
Matthew Lillard and Ray Liotta stand out from the pack here, I'm feeling generous, so here's an entire section. I think if I were an actor, I would prefer not to be typecast, but it seems opposites attract here. Liotta, who may be typecast as the hard-ass italian guy who kills people, is instead the insane wizard guy who kills people by proxy. Lillard, who usually plays a bumbling idiot with redeeming qualities, plays a bumbling, power hungry idiot, with a lack of redeeming qualities. Lillard does stand out as the only person in the cast who attempted to change their usual delivery (in his case spouting lines thru his bottom row of teeth), and in some scenes attempts what might be construed (in a court of law) as an accent change.
No other main character in this movie does so. And the accents appear all over, including the highlight (a russian chambermaid?) whose accent is so unbearably bad, you have to imagine they either asked a non-speaking extra to take a line, or that she's just a really terrible Russian actor.
The rest of the actors in the movie sort of phone in their performances, and I get the impression that a lot of the actors were reading directly off of cue cards, though there are always exceptions: I felt Jason Statham and Ron Perlman actually worked quite well together, and Terrance Kelly made significant improvements over his performance in "Bloodrayne". Brian J White was also a positive mark on this movie, taking a performance past what is written in the script.
Overall, I don't have much bad to say about this movie. While I could go on about it's flaws, you could also dissect a movie like "The Matrix" in the same manner. That's not to say that these two movies are on the same caliber, but I might even venture to say I enjoyed "In the Name of the King" more so then I enjoyed "The Matrix Reloaded". I also see promise in Boll's future. And while I understand that the animosity a lot of the community shows is from bad blood, I call for them to remember movies like "Super Mario Bros", "Double Dragon", "Street Fighter" and "Mortal Kombat Annihilation"... even "Doom", and remember that Boll was nowhere to be seen for those movies.
*Disclaimer, I enjoyed all the movies mentioned at the end with the exception of "Mortal Kombat Annihilation".
This weekend I found time to watch a movie I'd been avoiding for a few weeks now.
I suppose if you know me, you know my attachment to horrible, or at least moderately bad movies. A couple of examples? Wing Commander. Hackers. Between those two, if my punishment in hell was to watch the same two horrid movies for the rest of eternity, this would be closer to purgatory for me.
Don't think I could last? I might surprise you. I've seen Wing Commander more than 30 times. 4 of those times in theaters. When I get home at the end of the day, it's a bit of a chore not to plop down and watch it, even knowing that they threw away all the good bits of the Wing Commander saga and raped what was left... And you already know how much I love that series.
But there is some charm to bad movies. And I don't know what it is, but I almost prefer them to good ones. The good ones are so serious. And as serious a person I may be, I do enjoy the occasional chuckle. That's why I sat down and watched "In the Name of the King: a Dungeon Siege tale".
Ahh.... Uwe Boll. The bringer of such impeccable masterpieces, like; House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne and most recently In the Name of the King. (There is also a Postal movie that I really look forward to viewing.)
Boll is revered in the movie and gaming communities as a destroyer of Intellectual Properties, but the truth is, I think I'm a fan of his work.
Granted, I think it's hard to find anything redeemable in House of the Dead, but even his work in Alone in the Dark showed promise. Not everyone is a Wunderkind, but Boll has touched a very specific audience in a negative way. He is constantly criticized as a director who has no respect for the games he is translating, but I really don't think he sees it that way.
His latest production "In the Name of the King" is... interesting. There are things that I want to like about the movie, and things that I can't stand. I feel that one of the improvements Boll could make is to have someone rewrite the dialogue in a more natural manner. While "In the Name of the King" appears to take place in some fantasy land reminiscent of Scotland and England, a lot of the dialogue is uneven, in some places seeming clumsy and unwarranted (to move the plot along), in other places, far too elaborate (though this is usually where you gather the best quotes).
One of the greatest improvements I could attribute to Boll is that he appears to be doing his homework. His cinematography is vastly improved over the span of his American work and the extra effort really shows. While I think his stage crew could probably do more to integrate the stage setup in to the shots Boll sets up, I get the impression that Boll does his exposition shots after he films on stage. His light work has also come along way.
Hands down, the largest detractor from his work appears to be a shared responsibility: Casting and acting.
I'm not sure what they do to cast the parts out, if there are any feelers involved, or if they simply have someone in mind for the part when they write it and go balls out to get that person (which may be the case, as Boll casts many repeat actors), but I wonder if it might help to do screen tests with the actors to ensure that they mesh well. (A perfect example is the absolute lack of chemistry between Christian Slater--Whom I have a great amount of respect for-- and Tara Reid--Who may have finally gotten her plastic surgery fixed). The chemistry mismatch is certainly apparent, even as far as child actors go (Colin Ford as Zeph made me wish the kid was dead--I know, picking on a child actor isn't fair, but this is my opinion God Dammit).
Matthew Lillard and Ray Liotta stand out from the pack here, I'm feeling generous, so here's an entire section. I think if I were an actor, I would prefer not to be typecast, but it seems opposites attract here. Liotta, who may be typecast as the hard-ass italian guy who kills people, is instead the insane wizard guy who kills people by proxy. Lillard, who usually plays a bumbling idiot with redeeming qualities, plays a bumbling, power hungry idiot, with a lack of redeeming qualities. Lillard does stand out as the only person in the cast who attempted to change their usual delivery (in his case spouting lines thru his bottom row of teeth), and in some scenes attempts what might be construed (in a court of law) as an accent change.
No other main character in this movie does so. And the accents appear all over, including the highlight (a russian chambermaid?) whose accent is so unbearably bad, you have to imagine they either asked a non-speaking extra to take a line, or that she's just a really terrible Russian actor.
The rest of the actors in the movie sort of phone in their performances, and I get the impression that a lot of the actors were reading directly off of cue cards, though there are always exceptions: I felt Jason Statham and Ron Perlman actually worked quite well together, and Terrance Kelly made significant improvements over his performance in "Bloodrayne". Brian J White was also a positive mark on this movie, taking a performance past what is written in the script.
Overall, I don't have much bad to say about this movie. While I could go on about it's flaws, you could also dissect a movie like "The Matrix" in the same manner. That's not to say that these two movies are on the same caliber, but I might even venture to say I enjoyed "In the Name of the King" more so then I enjoyed "The Matrix Reloaded". I also see promise in Boll's future. And while I understand that the animosity a lot of the community shows is from bad blood, I call for them to remember movies like "Super Mario Bros", "Double Dragon", "Street Fighter" and "Mortal Kombat Annihilation"... even "Doom", and remember that Boll was nowhere to be seen for those movies.
*Disclaimer, I enjoyed all the movies mentioned at the end with the exception of "Mortal Kombat Annihilation".
12 May 2008
4 minutes to write this song
I find myself listening to the radio a lot more than I used to in recent years. Mostly, the local hip hop station (B96), and only because we enjoy listening to it. It seems that a lot of Hip hop music offers absolutely no content beyond what you've already heard before. Realistically speaking, we're listening to urban techno.
I say a lot about music, and they only thing I can derive from all this dissatisfaction is that I must not like music very much. I suppose that makes me a critic. But don't you ever listen to a song and think to yourself that maybe... just maybe you could have written that song for yourself?
Maybe you could have... especially when the best you could do for a chorus is "We only got 4 minutes to save the world".
Maybe I'm bitter. Maybe it's because I don't have the millions of dollars or the ambition to take a shitty idea farther than the beginning of the creative process.
I do the same shit with movie ideas... I think of an idea and I throw it out because maybe that idea is too stupid for anyone to take seriously... but then we get movies like the new Adam Sandler flick, You don't mess with the Zohan. But that's not what I'm really here to complain about. I should stick to the topic... that music sucks.
And that I'm not funny.
But there is one song that's really struck a ... I'm really sorry... struck a chord with me. I can't stop listening to it.
And it's folk music.
There has to be something extremely wrong with me at this point. I've probably listened to it 20 times today. But there's a charming quality to it. It's unassuming, and the "hook", as I've weaponized to criticize so many other songs with is delightfully unassuming. It's a slight rhythm change and a bit of a musical cliffhanger with an unresolved chord. Mrs. Gunz thinks I like it because it seems to be a song about just accepting life, and that's my mantra.
The song, while basic, maybe a bit over-produced, but that's bound to happen when it takes 9 years to put out a new album after a battle with cancer.
The people who are prone to read this blog won't know who I'm talking about. His name is John Prine, and his album Fair and Square may not be for everyone. Chances are, if you're reading this, you probably won't even like the song I'm referring to, which is called "Clay Pigeons", you'll probably make like the misses did and say, "it sounds nice".
Just the same, give it a listen, you may find yourself just as surprised as I did when I caught Prine's performance on PBS HD accidentally on a Saturday morning. But it's the least I can do for someone who found and produced a song by legendary songwriter (Blaze Foley, but I think you'll like Prine's version better), to make you listen to it.
I say a lot about music, and they only thing I can derive from all this dissatisfaction is that I must not like music very much. I suppose that makes me a critic. But don't you ever listen to a song and think to yourself that maybe... just maybe you could have written that song for yourself?
Maybe you could have... especially when the best you could do for a chorus is "We only got 4 minutes to save the world".
Maybe I'm bitter. Maybe it's because I don't have the millions of dollars or the ambition to take a shitty idea farther than the beginning of the creative process.
I do the same shit with movie ideas... I think of an idea and I throw it out because maybe that idea is too stupid for anyone to take seriously... but then we get movies like the new Adam Sandler flick, You don't mess with the Zohan. But that's not what I'm really here to complain about. I should stick to the topic... that music sucks.
And that I'm not funny.
But there is one song that's really struck a ... I'm really sorry... struck a chord with me. I can't stop listening to it.
And it's folk music.
There has to be something extremely wrong with me at this point. I've probably listened to it 20 times today. But there's a charming quality to it. It's unassuming, and the "hook", as I've weaponized to criticize so many other songs with is delightfully unassuming. It's a slight rhythm change and a bit of a musical cliffhanger with an unresolved chord. Mrs. Gunz thinks I like it because it seems to be a song about just accepting life, and that's my mantra.
The song, while basic, maybe a bit over-produced, but that's bound to happen when it takes 9 years to put out a new album after a battle with cancer.
The people who are prone to read this blog won't know who I'm talking about. His name is John Prine, and his album Fair and Square may not be for everyone. Chances are, if you're reading this, you probably won't even like the song I'm referring to, which is called "Clay Pigeons", you'll probably make like the misses did and say, "it sounds nice".
Just the same, give it a listen, you may find yourself just as surprised as I did when I caught Prine's performance on PBS HD accidentally on a Saturday morning. But it's the least I can do for someone who found and produced a song by legendary songwriter (Blaze Foley, but I think you'll like Prine's version better), to make you listen to it.
29 April 2008
For Lack of Controversy
Today, after a short... 6 month delay, Grand Theft Auto 4 was released to millions of patient fans. And some not so patient ones. The game was leaked about a week before.
None-the-less, the game is out, and is just now beginning a shit-storm of responses from "journalists" who couldn't think themselves out of a wet paper bag. These journalists grew up in an atmosphere that taught them knee jerk reactions were the quickest ways to receive attention, and scaring the shit out of your public is the best way to gain respect from your public.
Unfortunately for them, as print news goes the way of the dodo, and the general public has discovered out that while your refrigerator could kill you and everyone you love, the simple fact that it hasn't done so yet is a fantastic reason not to tune in at eleven to watch someone who is paid millions of dollars to look good and read from a prompt talk down to you for 2 hours, and look concerned about the fact that crime is on the rise (even though it's been on a decline since the introduction of porn).
But I suppose any attention is good attention these days, right?
The debate seems to be the same. The same generation that was told that Rock and Roll was poisoning their minds and that violent movies and pornography and marijuana would all make them soulless killers, as if killing didn't exist before, is doing exactly what they said that wouldn't and they've all become their fathers.
I wonder what Cain watched on HBO that got him all angry.
None-the-less, the game is out, and is just now beginning a shit-storm of responses from "journalists" who couldn't think themselves out of a wet paper bag. These journalists grew up in an atmosphere that taught them knee jerk reactions were the quickest ways to receive attention, and scaring the shit out of your public is the best way to gain respect from your public.
Unfortunately for them, as print news goes the way of the dodo, and the general public has discovered out that while your refrigerator could kill you and everyone you love, the simple fact that it hasn't done so yet is a fantastic reason not to tune in at eleven to watch someone who is paid millions of dollars to look good and read from a prompt talk down to you for 2 hours, and look concerned about the fact that crime is on the rise (even though it's been on a decline since the introduction of porn).
But I suppose any attention is good attention these days, right?
The debate seems to be the same. The same generation that was told that Rock and Roll was poisoning their minds and that violent movies and pornography and marijuana would all make them soulless killers, as if killing didn't exist before, is doing exactly what they said that wouldn't and they've all become their fathers.
I wonder what Cain watched on HBO that got him all angry.
28 April 2008
Nothing to Add
I'm feeling lazy. My post counts come in around 1 a week. Don't like it? Well, I can't help it, and complaining really won't help.
I'm addicted to two things right now: GTA 4 and Metal Gear Online. Both are fantastic, but MGO is definitely compensates the purchase of the Playstation 3.
When I'm not playing games, or ignoring movies that lay dormant on my media center (ones that I promised myself I would watch, even), I do spend a lot of time on social networking sites (like digg, Fark, or even 4chan). I also frequent a lot of blogs that I run in to when stumbling. I find a lot of interesting subjects that are written about, but that's not what I was here to complain about today.
It's the comments. I rarely get comments, so maybe I'm not an authority on what comments are supposed to be, but I do comment frequently, and if the only thing that I have to offer in addition to the post is "Awesome!" or "Beautiful!" or "HAHAHAHA!", I don't fucking write.
Now, that's not so bad, but people, really? Is that all you have to say? Is that all you can really think to say? Are you really so vapid?
I like it when people tell parallel stories... or have something to cite, but I think it really speaks for the intelligence of us as a society, that in essence and anonymity, we're all yes-men.
I'm addicted to two things right now: GTA 4 and Metal Gear Online. Both are fantastic, but MGO is definitely compensates the purchase of the Playstation 3.
When I'm not playing games, or ignoring movies that lay dormant on my media center (ones that I promised myself I would watch, even), I do spend a lot of time on social networking sites (like digg, Fark, or even 4chan). I also frequent a lot of blogs that I run in to when stumbling. I find a lot of interesting subjects that are written about, but that's not what I was here to complain about today.
It's the comments. I rarely get comments, so maybe I'm not an authority on what comments are supposed to be, but I do comment frequently, and if the only thing that I have to offer in addition to the post is "Awesome!" or "Beautiful!" or "HAHAHAHA!", I don't fucking write.
Now, that's not so bad, but people, really? Is that all you have to say? Is that all you can really think to say? Are you really so vapid?
I like it when people tell parallel stories... or have something to cite, but I think it really speaks for the intelligence of us as a society, that in essence and anonymity, we're all yes-men.
20 April 2008
Paradoxial Relationships
Today is our first anniversary. After 1 year of being together, I'm left with the notion that maybe it really isn't as bad as everyone says it is. Or something like that.
She's really a different breed of woman, and you'd never really know what I mean until you got to know her the way I do. Just the same, here we are, a year later, and looking back, it's been a damned good year. We've learned some more about each other. We've even gotten a little older (but don't tell anyone that).
About a week after we got married, we also bought a house. It's little, it's in a ghetto neighborhood, but it's ours and we love it.
But I guess the question is, after a year together. What do you take from each other? What is the most important lesson you learned?
She kicks in her sleep.
Happy Anniversary, love.
She's really a different breed of woman, and you'd never really know what I mean until you got to know her the way I do. Just the same, here we are, a year later, and looking back, it's been a damned good year. We've learned some more about each other. We've even gotten a little older (but don't tell anyone that).
About a week after we got married, we also bought a house. It's little, it's in a ghetto neighborhood, but it's ours and we love it.
But I guess the question is, after a year together. What do you take from each other? What is the most important lesson you learned?
She kicks in her sleep.
Happy Anniversary, love.
12 April 2008
Some things never change
R.Gunz: I thought we'd try something a little different today. Gina and I decided to collaborate on a post. Maybe it would get her involved... since she never posts anyway.
G.Gunz: Hey, why would you say that? But I'm misses--- argh.... *sigh* *laugh* *silent whimper* *gasp* STOP IT!!! *laugh* Why would you do that? No one's gonna want to read that.
(silence)
R.Gunz: Back to the subject. More importantly, I feel like slinging a little mud. Since "Two Guys From Italy" opened in Apple Valley, the Mrs. and I have gone 3 times. Each time we've gone, the restaurant, while physically the same, has been vastly different. One thing hasn't changed. The food. It still sucks. Well, that was kind of mean, and unnecessary. It's actually not terrible, but if you get a bowl of just pasta, I could quote the Mrs. on saying that "It tastes like school lunch." The portions aren't a bad size, but the food is simply too expensive for what you get. I'm not a foodie, but I know that if something is too salty for me, that's really fuckin' salty.
G.Gunz: I think the ownership has changed a couple of times, and there was a span of a month where the restaurant was closed entirely. Originally, if you wanted to dine in, you would go up to the counter and order. I think they're trying to make it posher, because they now seat you and take your order like a real restaurant. Unfortunately, their waiters have received little to no training.
R.Gunz: You have a penchant for understatement. Our waiter today... Todd? Mike?? Dumbass? Might have gotten training on how not to be a good waiter... maybe on how to be a prison guard. The place wasn't busy, but that gives no excuse to "hovering" over us. It took twenty minutes to get the food, which at Applebees or the Olive Garden might have been acceptable, but considering the "buffet-style" kitchen, you'd have expected a faster turn around. Also, Shit-bird wasn't familiar with Pinot Noir. Nor did he ask for ID, until I reminded him. Not that it matters to me, but if you serve alcohol, I'd expect you'd rather not get busted for serving a minor. I hear it's expensive.
G.Gunz: I'm really not that picky. I'm a lot more understanding of poor service than Ron is. But when he arrived with my Pinot Noir, I was surprised! The glass he brought it in looked like a tiny dessert wine glass, and it was filled to the top (he also spilled a little, and tried to use a napkin to clean it up, but the outside of the glass was still sticky). And not that I'm a wine snob, but I believe red wine is supposed to be in a larger wine glass, so it has some room to breathe.
R.Gunz: You also would think that 6.50 buys you a little more than 4 ounces of wine, but I guess I'm not on the same level as these people. I gotta imagine that the place is a tax hole. There can't be much money to be made with the service and the food. I had the Chicken Saltimboca, which alone, isn't too bad. The marsala probably needed a bit more simmer to take the edge off of the cheap wine they used, but the chicken had good flavor, and the prosciutto was cooked well. The penne was insulting, though. I think there were 14 or 15 penne noodles, topped with this... catsup... or something. After all that, the meal was doused in salt. The portion wasn't too small, which is good for them, but it did leave you with a feeling of "That's it? I guess I could have eaten a little more." I'll take the positive side of that argument and say it prevented you from over-eating, but was probably designed to make you want dessert. In the middle of the entree, Big bird showed up and said "Is everyhing tasting good?" We said, "Yes, thank you." He took two steps away, turned around and came back. "Can I get you anything else?"
G.Gunz: No, we just wanted him to go away. And by the time he came back to ask about dessert, we were not interested. We wanted to go home. When I paid up front, I gave him my credit card. For some reason, there was no space for a tip on the receipt. I wasn't sure what to do, so I didn't leave a tip.
R.Gunz: Not that it matters, we aren't going back. I get better service by the 16 year old at KFC.
G.Gunz: Hey, why would you say that? But I'm misses--- argh.... *sigh* *laugh* *silent whimper* *gasp* STOP IT!!! *laugh* Why would you do that? No one's gonna want to read that.
(silence)
R.Gunz: Back to the subject. More importantly, I feel like slinging a little mud. Since "Two Guys From Italy" opened in Apple Valley, the Mrs. and I have gone 3 times. Each time we've gone, the restaurant, while physically the same, has been vastly different. One thing hasn't changed. The food. It still sucks. Well, that was kind of mean, and unnecessary. It's actually not terrible, but if you get a bowl of just pasta, I could quote the Mrs. on saying that "It tastes like school lunch." The portions aren't a bad size, but the food is simply too expensive for what you get. I'm not a foodie, but I know that if something is too salty for me, that's really fuckin' salty.
G.Gunz: I think the ownership has changed a couple of times, and there was a span of a month where the restaurant was closed entirely. Originally, if you wanted to dine in, you would go up to the counter and order. I think they're trying to make it posher, because they now seat you and take your order like a real restaurant. Unfortunately, their waiters have received little to no training.
R.Gunz: You have a penchant for understatement. Our waiter today... Todd? Mike?? Dumbass? Might have gotten training on how not to be a good waiter... maybe on how to be a prison guard. The place wasn't busy, but that gives no excuse to "hovering" over us. It took twenty minutes to get the food, which at Applebees or the Olive Garden might have been acceptable, but considering the "buffet-style" kitchen, you'd have expected a faster turn around. Also, Shit-bird wasn't familiar with Pinot Noir. Nor did he ask for ID, until I reminded him. Not that it matters to me, but if you serve alcohol, I'd expect you'd rather not get busted for serving a minor. I hear it's expensive.
G.Gunz: I'm really not that picky. I'm a lot more understanding of poor service than Ron is. But when he arrived with my Pinot Noir, I was surprised! The glass he brought it in looked like a tiny dessert wine glass, and it was filled to the top (he also spilled a little, and tried to use a napkin to clean it up, but the outside of the glass was still sticky). And not that I'm a wine snob, but I believe red wine is supposed to be in a larger wine glass, so it has some room to breathe.
R.Gunz: You also would think that 6.50 buys you a little more than 4 ounces of wine, but I guess I'm not on the same level as these people. I gotta imagine that the place is a tax hole. There can't be much money to be made with the service and the food. I had the Chicken Saltimboca, which alone, isn't too bad. The marsala probably needed a bit more simmer to take the edge off of the cheap wine they used, but the chicken had good flavor, and the prosciutto was cooked well. The penne was insulting, though. I think there were 14 or 15 penne noodles, topped with this... catsup... or something. After all that, the meal was doused in salt. The portion wasn't too small, which is good for them, but it did leave you with a feeling of "That's it? I guess I could have eaten a little more." I'll take the positive side of that argument and say it prevented you from over-eating, but was probably designed to make you want dessert. In the middle of the entree, Big bird showed up and said "Is everyhing tasting good?" We said, "Yes, thank you." He took two steps away, turned around and came back. "Can I get you anything else?"
G.Gunz: No, we just wanted him to go away. And by the time he came back to ask about dessert, we were not interested. We wanted to go home. When I paid up front, I gave him my credit card. For some reason, there was no space for a tip on the receipt. I wasn't sure what to do, so I didn't leave a tip.
R.Gunz: Not that it matters, we aren't going back. I get better service by the 16 year old at KFC.
06 April 2008
PIck a Card
One of my favorite authors is Orson Scott Card. I'm a huge science fiction fan, but there is something about the way this guy imagines the other worlds... or the future for that matter that is compelling to me. I bought a game (Advent Rising for the Xbox) that I can't even play (it's not on the 360 compatibility list) simply because he was the one who penned the story behind it. Between his writing and having once said that "Firefly" was the greatest Sci-Fi show on television, I'm willing to submit a petition for sainthood.
Now, I'm not a good writer, that much should be obvious, so I'm not sure what constitutes a good writer. I could tell you that I've certainly enjoyed more than my share of books by "bad writers" before. I could also tell you that I've had absolutely no interest in some books that would be considered that most important examples of literature during it's time, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
I could tell you that most Sci-Fi writers have absolutely no concept of what natural dialog sounds like, and Card seems guilty of that, but it's forgivable because the people he writes about are extraordinary and the times and places are different. What makes Card so different in my mind is the extent of the realization of his fiction, both in worlds and in characters. It's good enough that you find yourself making assumptions, and 9 times out of ten, you're right. The people are familiar enough that you'll recognize them as people in your life, which gave them a proper face.
I first read "Ender's Game" when I was in 7th grade, as a reading assignment from my teacher who'd been teaching long enough to recognize me for what I was: lazy and disinterested. I've made it a point to re-read the Ender Saga once a year (and the Bean Saga, now that it's been released and completed) because it seems that there's something to learn every time I read the books.
I recall that when I first finished "Ender's Game" (it didn't take a couple of days, that's how excited I was), my train of thought was related to how children/adolescents are just as capable of accomplishments (like saving the world and commanding battle fleets). Every year I read the books, I learn more about the positions taken in the book. And what the annihilation of a species actually means. It seems like the lesson I've learned to take from this is that innocence is the real difference between being an adult and a child.
Does that suggest that the children today have a terminal lack of innocence? I know that isn't the intention, but think back and remember what things were like when you were in elementary school and remember now that when a little girl kisses a little boy, that's now a suspension under the zero-tolerance sexual harassment policy.
You think about that while I crawl back to my hole in the shame of having admitted to reading "Ender's Game" after turning 15.
Now, I'm not a good writer, that much should be obvious, so I'm not sure what constitutes a good writer. I could tell you that I've certainly enjoyed more than my share of books by "bad writers" before. I could also tell you that I've had absolutely no interest in some books that would be considered that most important examples of literature during it's time, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
I could tell you that most Sci-Fi writers have absolutely no concept of what natural dialog sounds like, and Card seems guilty of that, but it's forgivable because the people he writes about are extraordinary and the times and places are different. What makes Card so different in my mind is the extent of the realization of his fiction, both in worlds and in characters. It's good enough that you find yourself making assumptions, and 9 times out of ten, you're right. The people are familiar enough that you'll recognize them as people in your life, which gave them a proper face.
I first read "Ender's Game" when I was in 7th grade, as a reading assignment from my teacher who'd been teaching long enough to recognize me for what I was: lazy and disinterested. I've made it a point to re-read the Ender Saga once a year (and the Bean Saga, now that it's been released and completed) because it seems that there's something to learn every time I read the books.
I recall that when I first finished "Ender's Game" (it didn't take a couple of days, that's how excited I was), my train of thought was related to how children/adolescents are just as capable of accomplishments (like saving the world and commanding battle fleets). Every year I read the books, I learn more about the positions taken in the book. And what the annihilation of a species actually means. It seems like the lesson I've learned to take from this is that innocence is the real difference between being an adult and a child.
Does that suggest that the children today have a terminal lack of innocence? I know that isn't the intention, but think back and remember what things were like when you were in elementary school and remember now that when a little girl kisses a little boy, that's now a suspension under the zero-tolerance sexual harassment policy.
You think about that while I crawl back to my hole in the shame of having admitted to reading "Ender's Game" after turning 15.
31 March 2008
It's nostalgia all over again
It's gotten to the point where I've run out of things to complain about. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's been fantastic for my blood pressure (not that I've actually got problems with my blood pressure or anything). With that in mind, whenever I think about "Stealing Drugs" anymore, all I really think about is my past... or my childhood if you will. I don't really see it as a problem, but then again it's my blog. I suppose if you don't like it, you'd stop reading, wouldn't you. You probably already have.
I touched briefly on my tepid obsessions when I get involved in some game series, or other IP. Wing Commander was a fantastic example of this. Final Fantasy was another, completely unintended one.
I've spent hundreds on making sure that I obtain every last copy of a series of games, so as not to feel like I was missing out on something. Not that it mattered much, because I would have no intention on playing the game later on. My PS2 game collection was almost 100 games at one point, more than 60 of them were unopened. It was quite embarrassing, actually.
If you look thru my collection, you may still find one unopened for posterity.
The problem remains that some games cross platforms. The Resident Evil series is such a perfect example of this. Resident Evil, Resident Evil 2, and Resident Evil 3 all saw their first releases on the Playstation, but the original was also released on the Sega Saturn, PC, and the Nintendo DS. It was also remade for the Gamecube. Then re-released for the Playstation. Twice. For crazy people like me, who can't stand not to have every version of something, that's 5 different versions of a game to purchase.
I won't bore you with the details, but this is not an isolated story. A good portion of the games are this way.
Wing Commander was this was, as well. And for some reason, I just have to have all the different versions.
Or, at least, it used to be that way.
I met Gina, and things changed. I imagine that there has to be some sort of psychological void that buying all the different versions of a game had filled. I still have yet to figure out what that is.
Or maybe I'm just growing up.
Yeah, right.
I touched briefly on my tepid obsessions when I get involved in some game series, or other IP. Wing Commander was a fantastic example of this. Final Fantasy was another, completely unintended one.
I've spent hundreds on making sure that I obtain every last copy of a series of games, so as not to feel like I was missing out on something. Not that it mattered much, because I would have no intention on playing the game later on. My PS2 game collection was almost 100 games at one point, more than 60 of them were unopened. It was quite embarrassing, actually.
If you look thru my collection, you may still find one unopened for posterity.
The problem remains that some games cross platforms. The Resident Evil series is such a perfect example of this. Resident Evil, Resident Evil 2, and Resident Evil 3 all saw their first releases on the Playstation, but the original was also released on the Sega Saturn, PC, and the Nintendo DS. It was also remade for the Gamecube. Then re-released for the Playstation. Twice. For crazy people like me, who can't stand not to have every version of something, that's 5 different versions of a game to purchase.
I won't bore you with the details, but this is not an isolated story. A good portion of the games are this way.
Wing Commander was this was, as well. And for some reason, I just have to have all the different versions.
Or, at least, it used to be that way.
I met Gina, and things changed. I imagine that there has to be some sort of psychological void that buying all the different versions of a game had filled. I still have yet to figure out what that is.
Or maybe I'm just growing up.
Yeah, right.
30 March 2008
Accidental Childhood Tangent
I must have been 14 or 15 years old when I rented a copy of Wing Commander III: The Heart of the Tiger for the Playstation. I know that's not very "hardcore PC gamer" of me, but at the time, outside of downloading the occasional rom, piracy was something way over my head. (Also, please remember that this was a time when CD burners were 800 bucks, not something I could afford after having spent 1200 bucks on the compaq (yeah, I paid for it) computer sitting in my room.
I actually rented the game because nothing else in the "Playstation" section caught my eye, and this being the year after we received the Psx for Christmas, the bombardment of the "URNote" campaign drove us in to a fervor, as the appeal of the games we were given during Christmas "Battle Arena Toshinden" and "Warhawk" had slowly wore away after completing them more than our share of times (I still have both, in case you were wondering).
We used to make the short walk down to the SuperAmerica (where one could rent games and movies) because it was only about a block away from where we lived. Interestingly enough, it's about two blocks away now. The prices were right (free) and the walk wasn't punishing like the one to the Blockbuster, which wasn't so bad, as long as you were willing to almost get run over in the predeveloped Apple Valley south.
A note about the prices being free: My dad was working for SuperAmerica at the time (not in that store), and we were in good with the manager of that store. The terminals had a cute flaw that allowed you to back out of the fee processing for the title when you scanned it in, leaving it in the checkout list, but removing the price from the transaction. SuperAmerica later put a stop to this, but I was invited by Rich to spend a few minutes looking for another flaw (during my already budding career as a computer whiz). I did in fact find another flaw that if you scanned the one you want to rent as a check in and pull up the account, scanning other titles would add them to the account. All this fun free renting ended when Heath (a friend of my half-brothers when he worked at that store) helped his friend out with free rentals in front of a district manager.
When I was about twelve, I lost 40 some hours of my life to Final Fantasy III (or 6 if you're going to be anal about it, but we're not in Japan, jerk), and lifetime, more than a hundred hours. From then on, I was careful not to rent any RPGs, as they were detrimental to my social life (or what there was of one) and caused largish late fees. This, and a lack of interest in sports titles (with racing as an exception) forced me to look at a game whose cover design was just slightly far enough on the cheese-o-meter that I would have skipped it without a second thought on any other day.
The second appeal was Mark Hamill. Mark God Damned Hamill. You know him as Luke Skywalker. I know him from the endless amount of B-movie tripe that the Sci-Fi channel used to buy up and throw out on Sundays for godless people like me who had no ambitions for an organized religion to fit in with. And I know him as Luke Skywalker. And was that the guy from A Clockwork Orange? And the fat guy from Indian Jones? I would have jumped at it if it weren't from the damned lion on the front cover. See what I mean:
When I got it home and popped the disc in sometime after dinner. My excitement was waning as the introductory movie cropped up. One of the things I appreciate today is that they made no attempt to tell you what the hell was going on. You just had to figure it out for yourself, or the play the old games. Or in some cases both (there were gaps between games, that could be explained by expansion packs and semi sequels that didn't see large releases). The movie they play you before you even hit the goddamned start button is something like 12 minutes long. Oh, and there were real people in it (a hallmark of the generation).
Here it is for your enjoyment:
Wasn't the soundtrack fantastic? All in all, the midi soundtrack does nothing to impress, but the fact is that if they had spent 100 thousand dollars in getting a real orchestra to play this music for them, it would have been quite incredible. But you take what you can get.
The acting... seems off doesn't it?
That's because the entire game was shot with a green screen background. It wasn't the first "interactive movie" game, but Wing Commander III has the pleasure of being one of the few successful interactive movie games.
The actual space combat gameplay was relatively tame. You "fly" from waypoint to waypoint and shoot bad guys. An interesting thing about this game: the controls were heavy. Usually, if you port a title like this, you cut some of the controls out, or automate some of the features to reduce the amount of complex button commands. They didn't do anything of the sort here. If you wanted to play this game, you'd better damned well learn how to use the controller.
Tell me if they make sense to you (from wcnews.com)
Wing Commander 3 Playstation
Thanks to Kristofer Bengtsson for supplying these controls.
Action Button combination
Afterburner L2 + R2
Fire guns Circle
Fire missile Square
Accelerate Triangle
Decelerate X
Full stop X + L1 + L2
Cycle weapons L1 + Square
Cycle guns L1 + Circle
Cycle targets L1 + X
Lock targets L1 + Triangle
Autopilot L1 + L2 + R1 + R2
Comms select Select + Left/Right
Nav Map Select + L2
Eject L1 + L2 + R1 + R2 + Select + Start
Cloak L1 + R2
What? You mean you have to press all 4 top buttons to get autopilot? What if I just fly my ship directly to the way point that's something like 200,000 kilometers away? Well, at the maximum non-afterburner speed of the fastest ship of 520 kps. Due to the fact that the distances were to scale, this would take you approximately 6.5 minutes to complete. Really? Fly 9 and a half minutes? The slowest ship without afterburner traveled at a sluggish 320 kps and Guess what... I did it the first time. And you know what happens when you get to the way point? You can fly right by it. Nothing happens until you hit autopilot. And thank god, because if I hadn't known that, I would have stopped playing if each mission took more that 45 minutes to fly.
Combat itself was a hodgepodge of interesting and uninteresting ideas. Like most space simulators, distance really has no meaning except your relation to the target and the dogfighting itself is more like you turning the whole of the universe around your ship while trying to align your targeting reticle with the enemy ship. The morale of your wingmen and of your enemies had an effect on their ability to combat each other, and the weapons had a nice strategic finesse to their usage. This is not the reason to play the game.
No, the most interesting thing is the acting, and the story. And the characters... including Tom Wilson (you know him as Biff from Back to the Future).
Here he is in an annoying interview about Wing Commander 4.
I couldn't remove myself from my seat, it was nonstop excitement. I wanted to know what happened to the characters. To the Confederation. The cast had some superb actors, and some sometimes superb acting.
This spawned an unhealthy obsession with the books and the other games, including Wing Commander IV and Prophecy (the final official retail game of the series).
The sequel to III ended up with a budget of 8 million dollars (unheard of in 1996), over runs pushed the budgets to 10 million, making it the most expensive computer game of all time until 1999's Shenmue crushed the costs with a 20 million dollar budget.
Today, I look back at the games with a light hearted disposition. I know that if I ever play them again, I will have to play the whole series, but I remember it all fondly, so I can choose not to.
I think, however, that everyone who has ever finished Wing Commander 3 has been mentally conditioned to like the Wing Commander movie, no matter how atrocious you acknowledge it to be. I'll tell you more about it...
When my head stops throbbing.
I actually rented the game because nothing else in the "Playstation" section caught my eye, and this being the year after we received the Psx for Christmas, the bombardment of the "URNote" campaign drove us in to a fervor, as the appeal of the games we were given during Christmas "Battle Arena Toshinden" and "Warhawk" had slowly wore away after completing them more than our share of times (I still have both, in case you were wondering).
We used to make the short walk down to the SuperAmerica (where one could rent games and movies) because it was only about a block away from where we lived. Interestingly enough, it's about two blocks away now. The prices were right (free) and the walk wasn't punishing like the one to the Blockbuster, which wasn't so bad, as long as you were willing to almost get run over in the predeveloped Apple Valley south.
A note about the prices being free: My dad was working for SuperAmerica at the time (not in that store), and we were in good with the manager of that store. The terminals had a cute flaw that allowed you to back out of the fee processing for the title when you scanned it in, leaving it in the checkout list, but removing the price from the transaction. SuperAmerica later put a stop to this, but I was invited by Rich to spend a few minutes looking for another flaw (during my already budding career as a computer whiz). I did in fact find another flaw that if you scanned the one you want to rent as a check in and pull up the account, scanning other titles would add them to the account. All this fun free renting ended when Heath (a friend of my half-brothers when he worked at that store) helped his friend out with free rentals in front of a district manager.
When I was about twelve, I lost 40 some hours of my life to Final Fantasy III (or 6 if you're going to be anal about it, but we're not in Japan, jerk), and lifetime, more than a hundred hours. From then on, I was careful not to rent any RPGs, as they were detrimental to my social life (or what there was of one) and caused largish late fees. This, and a lack of interest in sports titles (with racing as an exception) forced me to look at a game whose cover design was just slightly far enough on the cheese-o-meter that I would have skipped it without a second thought on any other day.
The second appeal was Mark Hamill. Mark God Damned Hamill. You know him as Luke Skywalker. I know him from the endless amount of B-movie tripe that the Sci-Fi channel used to buy up and throw out on Sundays for godless people like me who had no ambitions for an organized religion to fit in with. And I know him as Luke Skywalker. And was that the guy from A Clockwork Orange? And the fat guy from Indian Jones? I would have jumped at it if it weren't from the damned lion on the front cover. See what I mean:
When I got it home and popped the disc in sometime after dinner. My excitement was waning as the introductory movie cropped up. One of the things I appreciate today is that they made no attempt to tell you what the hell was going on. You just had to figure it out for yourself, or the play the old games. Or in some cases both (there were gaps between games, that could be explained by expansion packs and semi sequels that didn't see large releases). The movie they play you before you even hit the goddamned start button is something like 12 minutes long. Oh, and there were real people in it (a hallmark of the generation).
Here it is for your enjoyment:
Wasn't the soundtrack fantastic? All in all, the midi soundtrack does nothing to impress, but the fact is that if they had spent 100 thousand dollars in getting a real orchestra to play this music for them, it would have been quite incredible. But you take what you can get.
The acting... seems off doesn't it?
That's because the entire game was shot with a green screen background. It wasn't the first "interactive movie" game, but Wing Commander III has the pleasure of being one of the few successful interactive movie games.
The actual space combat gameplay was relatively tame. You "fly" from waypoint to waypoint and shoot bad guys. An interesting thing about this game: the controls were heavy. Usually, if you port a title like this, you cut some of the controls out, or automate some of the features to reduce the amount of complex button commands. They didn't do anything of the sort here. If you wanted to play this game, you'd better damned well learn how to use the controller.
Tell me if they make sense to you (from wcnews.com)
Wing Commander 3 Playstation
Thanks to Kristofer Bengtsson for supplying these controls.
Action Button combination
Afterburner L2 + R2
Fire guns Circle
Fire missile Square
Accelerate Triangle
Decelerate X
Full stop X + L1 + L2
Cycle weapons L1 + Square
Cycle guns L1 + Circle
Cycle targets L1 + X
Lock targets L1 + Triangle
Autopilot L1 + L2 + R1 + R2
Comms select Select + Left/Right
Nav Map Select + L2
Eject L1 + L2 + R1 + R2 + Select + Start
Cloak L1 + R2
What? You mean you have to press all 4 top buttons to get autopilot? What if I just fly my ship directly to the way point that's something like 200,000 kilometers away? Well, at the maximum non-afterburner speed of the fastest ship of 520 kps. Due to the fact that the distances were to scale, this would take you approximately 6.5 minutes to complete. Really? Fly 9 and a half minutes? The slowest ship without afterburner traveled at a sluggish 320 kps and Guess what... I did it the first time. And you know what happens when you get to the way point? You can fly right by it. Nothing happens until you hit autopilot. And thank god, because if I hadn't known that, I would have stopped playing if each mission took more that 45 minutes to fly.
Combat itself was a hodgepodge of interesting and uninteresting ideas. Like most space simulators, distance really has no meaning except your relation to the target and the dogfighting itself is more like you turning the whole of the universe around your ship while trying to align your targeting reticle with the enemy ship. The morale of your wingmen and of your enemies had an effect on their ability to combat each other, and the weapons had a nice strategic finesse to their usage. This is not the reason to play the game.
No, the most interesting thing is the acting, and the story. And the characters... including Tom Wilson (you know him as Biff from Back to the Future).
Here he is in an annoying interview about Wing Commander 4.
I couldn't remove myself from my seat, it was nonstop excitement. I wanted to know what happened to the characters. To the Confederation. The cast had some superb actors, and some sometimes superb acting.
This spawned an unhealthy obsession with the books and the other games, including Wing Commander IV and Prophecy (the final official retail game of the series).
The sequel to III ended up with a budget of 8 million dollars (unheard of in 1996), over runs pushed the budgets to 10 million, making it the most expensive computer game of all time until 1999's Shenmue crushed the costs with a 20 million dollar budget.
Today, I look back at the games with a light hearted disposition. I know that if I ever play them again, I will have to play the whole series, but I remember it all fondly, so I can choose not to.
I think, however, that everyone who has ever finished Wing Commander 3 has been mentally conditioned to like the Wing Commander movie, no matter how atrocious you acknowledge it to be. I'll tell you more about it...
When my head stops throbbing.
29 March 2008
28 March 2008
"Things Just Ain't the Same"
Since meeting Gina, anyone you'd talk to would say I was a different person. Don't get me wrong, I'm still an asshole. But habits changed. I did my own laundry, I cooked, I cleaned. I didn't go drinking as much. It wasn't reallly her influence, it was just like something snapped in my head and these things became things that I did.
Since we got married, one thing I've tried to hold on to has steadily declined. I simply don't play games as much as I used to. Before we met, I'd play games online, on the PC a total of 40 hours a week. Like a full time job. After we met, I was stoic in my addiction, carrying on playing games on my laptop, or the PSP (which I eventually traded in for my 360). Before we married, I was still doing 30 hours a week, most of which happened in the days we didn't spend together, and the late night/early morning hours. I would sleep less than 5 hours a night. I didn't need more than that.
I have plenty of opportunity to play. I also now have a huge TV. Gina encourages me to play, especially if she's busy with something (probably to keep me out of the way). But I simply don't play more than 5 hours a week anymore. There are exceptions to that rule. Rainbow 6 Vegas 2 managed to make release last week and has scoured about 10 hours of my time this week. When Metal Gear Solid 4 comes out, I may not see the light of day until I finish the game, some 12 to 20 hours later. But otherwise my interest simply isn't there.
The thing is, I like playing games, but I don't know if that change is related to the fact that I'm married and something is different now, or if that change is related to the fact the games industry hasn't really done much to keep my attention.
Or maybe she's using some osmosis therapy to slowly stop me...
Shhh... here she comes. Act natural.
Since we got married, one thing I've tried to hold on to has steadily declined. I simply don't play games as much as I used to. Before we met, I'd play games online, on the PC a total of 40 hours a week. Like a full time job. After we met, I was stoic in my addiction, carrying on playing games on my laptop, or the PSP (which I eventually traded in for my 360). Before we married, I was still doing 30 hours a week, most of which happened in the days we didn't spend together, and the late night/early morning hours. I would sleep less than 5 hours a night. I didn't need more than that.
I have plenty of opportunity to play. I also now have a huge TV. Gina encourages me to play, especially if she's busy with something (probably to keep me out of the way). But I simply don't play more than 5 hours a week anymore. There are exceptions to that rule. Rainbow 6 Vegas 2 managed to make release last week and has scoured about 10 hours of my time this week. When Metal Gear Solid 4 comes out, I may not see the light of day until I finish the game, some 12 to 20 hours later. But otherwise my interest simply isn't there.
The thing is, I like playing games, but I don't know if that change is related to the fact that I'm married and something is different now, or if that change is related to the fact the games industry hasn't really done much to keep my attention.
Or maybe she's using some osmosis therapy to slowly stop me...
Shhh... here she comes. Act natural.
20 March 2008
Operating system of choice
In my life, I use OS X and Windows Vista as my primary operating systems. Not so much Vista by choice, but because that's what I have to use at work. It does alright, except that I have to restart the damned thing 4-5 times a day when ever I leave photoshop or dreamweaver open for too long. And forget about memory usage, IE7 is a hog, but that's OS independent.
Just the same, every time we're coaxed in to switching operating systems, it's an unfriendly experience. I even remember the stability issues that I was having with Windows XP back in the day. Service pack 1 was the end all be all of fixes to save that OS, and I think Microsoft is hoping to regain cred with this new Service pack.
What it comes down to for you? Who cares? The point is as long as PC hardware comes so cheap, and mac hardware doesn't come in a budget market, you're stuck with the Windows Defacto Standard of "we do whatever the hell we want and you pay for it."
Oh no, I've just become that guy...
On an unrelated note, if my high school keyboarding teacher knew I could type this fast without the method God handed down to her on Mount Sinai, she'd be turning in her grave (I do believe she's shed the mortal coil).
65 words
Just the same, every time we're coaxed in to switching operating systems, it's an unfriendly experience. I even remember the stability issues that I was having with Windows XP back in the day. Service pack 1 was the end all be all of fixes to save that OS, and I think Microsoft is hoping to regain cred with this new Service pack.
What it comes down to for you? Who cares? The point is as long as PC hardware comes so cheap, and mac hardware doesn't come in a budget market, you're stuck with the Windows Defacto Standard of "we do whatever the hell we want and you pay for it."
Oh no, I've just become that guy...
On an unrelated note, if my high school keyboarding teacher knew I could type this fast without the method God handed down to her on Mount Sinai, she'd be turning in her grave (I do believe she's shed the mortal coil).
65 words
14 March 2008
Fitness Update
My 1 mile time has come down to 8:30 and I powered thru a mile and a half in 12 and change. It's much better than I thought I'd be, though there isn't much of a visible difference in my body. Oh well. Better than nothing.
11 March 2008
In Effect, A Diorama
I have a problem. An addiction, really. I came here to warn you about it.
To protect you. So you won't be like me. Addicted.
To CSI Miami. I started watching this show... almost on accident. Thanks to this youtube video (my personal favorite part is the peter pan moment at 6:00).
The acting is bad, the writing is bad and the science... is flaky. But there is something about the show that I just can't let go of for some reason. Every episode is compelling. Every soap opera-inspired plot twist is a joy.
I started watching this show about a month ago and I'm firmly entrenched in season 4. The good news is that I'm married, and she forces me to bed long before I'm ready to stop watching. The bad news is that if I weren't married, I'd be long done with all 5 and a half seasons of this show.
Sadly, I found out last night that my copy of season 4 is all out of order... I guess I'll have to start the season over.
Sadly, I found out last night that my copy of season 4 is all out of order... I guess I'll have to start the season over.
06 March 2008
A little bit of Fire
I own the LG Rumor. By most accounts, it's very rare to find due to lack of stock at Sprint stores. I bought it outright, and I didn't have to track it down.
I regret finding it, though.
It's a clever phone, and unlike most Sprint offerings, wasn't on the ass end of expensive. The keyboard is intuitive, and while the starch nature of the buttons leads to a lot of "misfires", and it's something I'm not to disappointed with. The menus are slow. Mostly because the processor appears to be clocked down far enough to compete with a Mac LC. Again, I can live with it because of the advantage. The battery life is fantastic. Ever hear those claims of 7 days on standby from phone stores? I get 7 days easy. That's with usage.
This is where the fun stops. And, as you may expect, my complaining begins.
This phone really has no customization options. You can't change what menu appears when you slide it open, and that slide open automatically unlocks the keyguard, allowing you make the pocket phone calls you thought the keyguard was protecting you from.
Sprint's Vision network is nasty slow on this phone, and while most of the other phones allow for the newer faster network access crap, this phone is slower than hell. My previous two phones both worked on that power vision service, but this phone barely gets you online. It's infuriating just to check the weather.
Bluetooth is another one of those afterthoughts to this phone. I purchased one of the previous LG releases based completely on their bluetooth support (it was the first sprint phone to offer it). By this time, you'd think they'd have it down to a science. Here's a hint, they don't. Range isn't more than 15 feet without some static, and completely useless at 30. Also, no matter what distance, there is a slight echo, even on $150 headsets.
One thing I forgot to mention. The microphone at the bottom is asinine. It's at the bottom of the phone! It picks you up just fine (but you sound weird on this thing), but it also picks up everything else. I mean everything. Someone next to you just let out a fart? They'll hear it... and let me tell you, that's the last time I call my mom sitting next to Jeremy.
That's all and good, the same complaints you may hear about all the time. This phone has one killer quirk: it restarts randomly. Anytime during the day. Not even because you were pushing on the battery. I placed in it on the counter to make lunch, and while I was coating my chicken in flour (and not in a nasty Afterglide innuendo way), the phone restarted. Silently. It doesn't give you any indication that this is doing it, unless you catch it in the act. Though you may catch it when you're in a fuckin' phone call.
Of course, restarting is inaccurate. It implies that it turns back on. Sometimes I've found the phone simply off in my pocket.
The Sprint store won't help me, they say they're not responsible for the phone's warranty and can find nothing repairable wrong with it.
Sprint says they can't help me because I didn't buy the protection service at a ridiculous $84/year and won't sell that protection to me now that they know there is something wrong with the phone.
And LG says that it's not reproducible, so they can't service it, but I could send it in for a month for them to look at. Yeah right.
So here I am with this broke ass phone waiting for my contract to expire, or a better deal to come up.
Maybe I should just get an iPhone.
28 February 2008
Achievement Unlocked
Tuesday, at the gym, and for the first time in my life, I experienced runner's high.
It was an amazing feeling, much like what my friends had told me. The loss of feeling in my legs, and just movement and focus.
The only problem is when you're on a machine, you're not going anywhere, so it's like a runner's middle. More of a letdown than anything else.
It's a fair warning for you in the future.
24 February 2008
Mini Mrs. Gunz
When I met the Mrs., she wasn't far off from moving out of her parents' house. When she did, she received this knick knack.
It's called "Gina", and it is my favorite pasta spoon ever.
EVER.
Look at how friendly it looks. And blue. Who could resist?
22 February 2008
Also, a Side Note
To the fat girl that goes to my gym:
It's admirable that you're going to the gym. I think you'd get more done if you stayed off your fucking cell phone for long enough to actually finish your time on the treadmill. Nobody believes you're there to get in better shape, and you look like a retard talking on your cell phone in a fucking gym. I swear to god, if I ever hear you complain about not losing weight regardless of the amount of time you spend in the gym, I may tear off one of your ears.
Just sayin'.
The Problem With Music Today
It struck me last night at the gym, but even more so after reading this piece:
The problem with music today is formula.
I listen to my own music at the gym, normally, but yesterday, during my two visits to the locker room, I listened to the music that they were playing. Namely, the end of the songs. The last minute and a half or so.
Know what I heard? The artist regurgitating the same line ad nauseam.
When the artist finally finished and my headache subsided, I decided there was only one group I could blame for this mess.
Hoobastank
Remember that catchy song from a few years ago? The Reason?
Ever listen to that song? I mean really listen to it? There is no key progression and now growth in the song. It starts and ends exactly as full as you remember, minus the intro. Even about 70% of the lyrics are used over and over. Let me help you:
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
See what I mean?
20 February 2008
Can't Rain All the Time
I retain a lot of information. Unfortunately, most of it is useless. If I don't know the answer to something, I can certainly make a conjecture, but generally, I'll just say "I don't know," and I'm certainly not committed to that answer.
Because of this, I am usually right.
It bothers the wife quite a bit. She also likes to rub it in my face when I am wrong. I think I'm doing her a service by staying right most of the time. Victory is so much sweeter when it comes rarely, I think.
And yet, I was wrong. Toshiba, yesterday, announced the demise of the HD-DVD format. And while the movies will be available at wholesale prices, the face remains that the less superior format won the contest.
She wasn't even involved in the format debate, just happy to hear that I was wrong.
If you'll excuse me, I'll be watching Serenity on HD-DVD until they release it on Blu-Ray.
Then I'll watch it on my Playstation 3.
18 February 2008
Unstoppable, Sort of
The Misses would have you would have you believe that my main character flaw is that I feel that I am unstoppable. And that the reason that I think that is because I have yet to pay for any bad decisions I've made due to the insurmountable cache of luck I seem to have stored in my life. That every bad situation that happens to me will always punish me less than any other in my position.
I love her for it, because she chooses that over my not-quite-surreptitious ego, my incredibly selfish behavior, and my general apathy for anything that occurs outside of my existence-bubble.
But in a manner of speaking, she is right. I don't seem to be penalized in quite the same way others are. Her favorite example is when I had my wisdom teeth removed more than a year ago, maybe even two, I'm not sure. It's a haze. But she absolutely cannot stand how quickly I recovered.
I started on a Friday, we both took the day off. Friday morning I had my teeth knocked out. About an hour later, I recall being dragged to the car and taken to her apartment. 2 hours later, she was negotiating to buy a Jetta, and I was talking to her thru my teeth on the phone. 4 hours later, we were in Hopkins, negotiating a different deal. I was talking, though in retrospect, I probably shouldn't have made the deal, but she needed a car.
Saturday, I was eating solid food.
Of course, anytime I get the idea to do something crazy, and some how come out unscathed, this is always the example she cites.
Now, I have terrible knees. Mostly my left knee, but sometimes my right becomes unhinged, too. It's hard to explain, but to the few of us this happens to, you know that it is extremely uncomfortable as soon as you want to use the knee, you have no knowledge beforehand.
When I was 18, I could run a 7 minute mile. That's not olympic time, but for a guy who had never run under a 12 before in his life, it was something to hold on to.
I hope to get back there. My mile time now clocks in around the 9 minute mark, which is no small feat, I think. I'll also continue to work my times down. An interesting side affect to the way we work out, however, is added stamina. It's something I've never had before, at least, not at the running side of things. I get concerned because my heart rate runs a little hotter than your average 24 year old, I'm extremely comfortable at around 180, which the people at the gym tell me is heart attack worthy.
Of course, results may vary, and the reason I train at such a high heart rate is because I'm extremely out of shape.
Just the same, another reason my wife could cite as a "normal rules don't apply to Ron" example.
I'd love to run a 5k, or at least think about running a 5k, until I completely lose interest in the idea, now that I know that I can run for a half an hour without really reaching the limits of my stamina. Now that I know that I can breathe without choking.
But as I got up from watching a CSI: Miami marathon this morning, and took a step, I recall that my luck may well run out someday, while my knee buckles underneath me.
At least my wife can have the satisfaction of knowing she was right.
15 February 2008
I've Been Out-Nerded
I don't know how it happened... and I don't know why it happened...
Of course, maybe I don't understand, I'm not a comic book guy.
But for some reason, someone thought this was a good idea:
it's not even a joke, it exists. . . saw it with my own eyes. I won't even give you the pleasure of reading my nerdy dissertation about what exactly is wrong with this match up.
I keep rejecting book ideas for myself, but this asshole has given me a new inspiration. Coming soon: Jack Bauer takes on Aliens Vs Predator and Robocop Vs The Terminator.
I had to cut Chuck Norris out because he's proven himself to be an idiot.
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