Neurosis

Go on and act like you don't do it, too.

Hello Lakeville

What the fuck?  Fix your roads.  Apple Valley has got their shit locked tight.  

It's like a motherfucking mine cart ride to get to work.  Are you intentionally damaging roads?

I Can't Stop

Sometimes you watch a movie so inexorably bad that you can't stop watching until the end.

Imagine watching a movie about a fighting tournament created to celebrate the best fighters in the world, which then becomes corrupted by an evil-scientist-cum-business-man who's wish is to install nano-machines into the best fighters and collect a "database" of fighting data on them.  To what end, you ask?

To create a pair of really ugly sunglasses.  Sunglasses which allow you to predict the fighting styles of the opponent you are going to face.  Which he will sell to the richest evil men in the world.  Who aren't really the fighter types.  And as far as I can tell, would really only be worth the purchase if you were going to fight any of the 20 people the data was collected from, if you wanted to stretch your imagination far enough to believe that that sort of thing is possible.   

Did I mention that they were sunglasses?

I don't know what's worse, that someone thought making a movie out of a fighting game that actually has ZERO storyline was a good idea, or that the film ends in a manner that suggests that if they received enough money, they would try to squeeze out a sequel.

It's not really all as simple as all that, but the long and short of it comes down to exactly that plot summary.  Toss in scantily clad women, stereotypes, bad acting and horrible cliches, not to mention Eric Roberts, this is the movie you get.  

You get, 2006's very own Dead or Alive.