What's up more than a month?

I remember a time when I could barely restrain myself from posting 5 times a week, and here I've let this sit for a month. Shame on me.

Today, I find myself contemplative. Not of any other greater ideal. Not of our nation's current economic situation (regardless of how I think the economy is actually doing). But of The Dark Knight.

This summer's blockbuster has gone under no one's radar after all the fantastic press, not to mention the death of Heath Ledger (which now has his fans rabidly calling for an Oscar due to his performance). I'm sure you know all that because you haven't been hiding under a rock the last two weeks.

And now that The Dark Knight has broken records left and right, and though unofficially there is no numbers to say it's outperformed the dreadful Spiderman 3 for a total weekend box-office pull, I find it extremely difficult to believe that it hasn't, and I think everyone's studio estimates have their money on the same outcome.

I say good for them. And, I'm dying to see this movie. But I can't.

It's not because I don't enjoy movies. I loved Batman Begins. I'd even call myself a Christian Bale fan (not as big as others may be, but a fan nonetheless). Man crush even.

My inability to see this movie stems from my absolute hatred of the theater experience. I don't mind paying for tickets. Or even ridiculous concession prices (and they are ridiculous, but standing in line and saying "Wow, these prices are ridiculous" doesn't lower prices, it just makes you look like an ass to the 16 year old girl that gets paid 5.75 an hour to get your popcorn and listen to you complain about the prices).

My problem isn't even the seating (but some of you need to take your fucking hats off). It's the people. Which goes back to people and hats.

I have 6 rules to theater going, and you can call me an asshole, but if I spend 10 dollars on a ticket, I spent 10 bucks to so fuck you. I follow these rules, and I assume that decent people follow them, too. But some people don't. So I don't go to theaters. It solves the problem on both ends.

Rule #1: Shut the fuck up. -I don't want to hear it, your friends don't want to hear it. How are you enjoying the movie if you're not listening to what the fuck is going on?

Rule #2: Shut the fuck up. -I'm not just talking about your friend. You too. Stop talking.

Rule #3: Put the god-damned phone away. -I don't care. I think you can live without it for 2 and a half hours.

Rule #4: No, really, put the god-damned phone away. -Texting is still not an acceptable usage for a phone in the theater. I especially since you think the phone talker guy is rude. I make an exception for this. If you're willing to wear a big jacket and zip it up, then do all your texting with your head in the jacket turtle-style, then I'm willing to compromise.

Rule #5: If you're in the theater, you should know what your bladder is capable of. -The obvious exception to this rule is kids movies. But I haven't seen a movie under PG-13 in theaters in probably 15 years. And really, PG-13 is the new R. Stop drinking the whole soda and sit down. I really don't want to hear, or feel the door opening. A theater is like a big subwoofer, and opening that door changes the whole atmosphere.

Rule #6: Be mindful of others. Physically. -I'm a big guy, but if I'm in a crowded theater, I'll pull my shoulders in so that I'm not touching you. Don't touch me. Especially don't touch me if I don't know you. Don't take up both arm rests if there are people sitting directly next to you. And put your feet on the floor. If you kick me in the head because you can't sit with your feet on the floor, I'm really gonna fuck up your night.

I know that if I go and see this movie, that someone is bound to violate these rules (and if not just 1, which I can almost tolerate, then all of them).

The internal debate is then whether or not I'm willing to put up with it in order to see a movie. 99 times out of 100, the answer is no.

I'm still undecided.