Instant Gratification

I love baking cakes.

Actually, I'm going to amend that statement.

I love baking cakes of the Betty Crocker, pop-that-shit-in-the-oven-3-minutes-after-you-open-the-fuckin-package variety.

Pardon my French, I'm excited.

Truth is, I don't get much pleasure out of the actual cake. It tastes fine, sure. But I can't tell the difference between chocolate fudge or german chocolate... or devil's food... or double chocolate... or... well... any of them. They all taste the same. Well, except for "Butter Recipe Chocolate", but we'll get to that in a minute.

You see, my cake baking fetish starts and ends in the batter. Real cakes take way to long to get to this stage, hence, my preference for the bake-it-god-damned-fast brand of cake batter goodness. There's nothing (bake-wise) that I get more pleasure out of than preparing the cake batter, dumping it in to the cake pan and cleaning up the remains. With my tongue.

This is why I love the "Butter Recipe Chocolate" cake mix. All the taste and mess of the other cake batters, none of the nasty "did I just consume vegetable oil" regret.

It's fantastic. Don't act like you've never done it. I'd be tempted to eat all the batter before it gets in the cake pan, except that my wife prefers it all baked and everything (not that she doesn't enjoy the batter, if you know what I'm saying),

and...

well...

what the fuck is the point of buying cake mix if you're not going to bake a fucking cake?