Extorting Your Childhood

Most companies will allow an amount of evil, a percentage of evil, if you will, in order to maintain profits. Apple's evil meter has been relatively low for the last 20 years, guaranteeing a lack of market-share. Microsoft on the other hand, started with a terrible balance, and while that balance tips occasionally back to neutral/bad, it stays bad and Microsoft owns 90% of the operating system market.

Classmates.com however, is evil in the most vile sense.

Yes, I understand that you run a company to make a profit. And yes, I understand that sometimes, in pursuit of profit, you must do evil things. Occasionally. Classmates.com is a little different, however.

They ransom your childhood. And they don't do it very honestly.

You start with a free membership. Which allows you to enter their database. Then if you want to do anything else, other than peruse names you don't recall ever being able to spell correctly, you pay them $50 a year. To email your ex-friends.

Well, ex-friends if you're a dick like me, who chooses to disappear from sight for years at a time, only to resurface as a completely different person with the same name.

Myspace does the same thing... for free... but now you're a hipster douche bag, trying to contact that kid in 3rd grade that you picked on just a little bit too much, before he goes on a shooting spree with your name at the top of the list.

So... let's be honest with ourselves. Be the douche bag... or get killed.

Damn you Classmates... damn you all to hell.