Real Conversationalists

Since the beginning, when compuserv and prodigy were your only links to the outside world (with the exception of a local BBS), one of the accepted ideals of digital communication was that we would be able to refine communication to the point where "like... uh.... so.... well... the such as..." might one day disappear from daily conversation.

That was overridden once internet access, forums and chats became available to the mainstream before the propagation of those ideals.  Therefore, we have people attempting to communicate.  Of course, then you think about all the stupid things you've see in message boards... even back in 1991.  At least people tried to type properly.  

Assumably, there is a universal brand of english.  Granted, there are sub-dialects of it that may not be as understandable as others.  Those sub-dialects usually do not include a published version, so there is no doctrine defining the proper way to spell certain words.  Since the words already exist, why not spell them the way they were originally intended.

I understand the need to "ghetto-ize" things when discussing hip hop music, or cars...  but there is a limit.  I'd be happy to provide an example...

Brace yourself:

"But Back To The subject, 50 Cent Is Gotta be the most Dumb Mutha Fucka. Of Course Kanye West Is gonna Win, But Why he Gotta Quit Just Cuzz he One. Hes Proving himself that He Sux Thats what. 50 Is Gettin Worster And Worster But He could Still Come Up. But 50 Just Fucked Up By Saying that he will Quit If Kanye West Beats him. (Dumb Mutha Fuckers these days) But Ey, 50 Still makes Money By Clothes, Shoes And other G-Unit Products, and hes the 2nd Or 3rd most riches Rapper so Yea, he aint dumb if he does it, but i perfer him not to quit"

This comment was stolen from http://www.mikeschepker.com and this nugget of genius is provided by the user: Ghe77oChild.

Wow, it's golden... but let me point out my favorites.

5)  50 Cent Is Gotta be the most Dumb Mutha Fucka.  --  What?  What was that?  And what's with the random caps?

4)  and hes the 2nd Or 3rd most riches Rapper so Yea -- 2nd or 3rd most riches? Again... I don't understand what you mean

3)  50 is Gettin Worster and Worster -- You can't possibly mean to tell me that you'd actually say that in real life.

2)  Of Course Kanye West Is gonna Win, But Why he Gotta Quit Just Cuzz he One. -- I understand the context of the sentence, but "Why he Gotta Quit Just Cuzz he One."  Wow...

1)  so Yea, he aint dumb if he does it, but i perfer him not to quit -- My personal favorite.  Notice two things, "Yea" is capitalized, yet...  "i" isn't.  Also, at the end he has delusions of eloquence.  "but i perfer him not to quit".  I actually had to go back and retype "perfer".  I can't do it.  But after all that swearing and whatever you want to call it, you get a sanguine confession.  Just a tiny hopeful contradiction.

I wish this were an isolated incident, unfortunately the internet is riddled with these morons.  Some are less harmful to your mind, others threaten to assault you.  In some instances, a motivated internet citizen may actually pay you a physical visit if you ridicule him enough.

Good luck with that.

 

So...  Yeah...