The Same Size Sideways

Where's my money?

I read a thought-provoking article yesterday on MSN concerning the misconceived notion that most of our children believe they will be making 6 figures when they get out of college. Now I say "thought-provoking" because like most MSN articles; it was recycled (probably written poorly a year ago), poorly conceived, and poorly researched. "Find out why your kids think that they're going to make six figures" *click* "Here are three possible reasons why your kids think they'll make a lot of money..."

But I digress.

MSN isn't too keen on blaming the reader of the article, because it makes you feel guilty. When Americans feel guilty, they tend to ignore the source of those feelings. In an effort to prevent you from feeling bad, and therefore, never again reading another MSN article, they don't come out right and say:

"Parents, it's all your fucking faults. If you could straighten your kids out with reality a little bit, maybe they wouldn't have a fucking need for therapy when they turned 25 and realized that they weren't the next fucking Bill Gates. Maybe if you could point out to them the next time you're at McDonald's stuffing their fat fucking faces, that there are plenty of 30-50 year old's running around inside that thing in the middle of the day. Who the fuck do you think rings up your Wal-Mart purchases. Between 5-10 pm, you might see a few 16 year olds, sure, but seriously. Your kid, most likely, will not be a millionare. And stop encouraging that shit because you depend on them to bring money to the family. That's why your kids are going to be fucking depressed."

Instead, they say "Some parents don't tell their kids the reality of how much they themselves make, or how much their children are apt to make." And they give you two more convenient scape-goats; the media, and celebrities.

Parent: "What an interesting article, I wonder what is setting my children up for disappointment, it couldn't be me, could it?"

*reads*

Parent: "Well, there are other parents who aren't keeping their kids in check, but definitely celebrities and the media are a huge part of that. Wow... I'm glad I'm not responsible. What's that Bobby? You're going to make millions building computers for a living? Yeah, you will. You're so smart. Let's go to McDonald's. I know you're only 5, but I think you're ready for the Big Mac Meal™."

I'm lucky enough to have had a father that set me straight on this.

"You're not going to make the kind of money you think you are with this 'computer shit'."

Not that I listened. He was right, though. And really, if schools didn't force you to figure out what you want to be at 18, I might have become a doctor. They don't make it easy, you know. As soon as you reach 18, the question is posed: "Do you want to spend tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out what you want to do or get into the work force? No Mulligans."

I'm a jack-of-all-trades.

And your kids need a reality check.